Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla 2

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1993

I could describe the plot of this one, but come on it’s a Godzilla film so we all know the plots are normally a mess and we just wait for the monster fights. The plot in this gets particularly bogged by the appearance of a baby Godzilla. Rodan and Big G fight then later Mecha G is powered up and he fights Big G. Baby G has an extra brain or something, I am assuming it used to belong to the writers of this film as they appear to have misplaced theirs while writing this script. Meanwhile Mecha G gets equipped with more weapons and is know know SupermechaGodzilla. I wonder if they had to pay more to do the film once he had the super added on? Anywho there’s more fighting, more destruction and unfortunately a little more of Baby G. Rodan gives a lifeforce/pixie dust/something or other to Big G allowing him to get up and finish off SupermechaGodzilla. Then Big G walks off into the water. Roll the credits.

Negatives-Baby G annoys the heck out of me and looks downright silly. The script is okay at best.

The positives-A fantastic amount of action helps this one greatly. Some people love King Ghidorah or Mothra, but if you read my blog much you may know I am a huge fan Mecha G so we get plenty of him of course and that’s enough for me. I love how he looks and his weapons here. I’ve never sat down and ranked all the Godzilla films and there are about three I have never seen, but for right now I think this one would definitely make my top ten.

 

 

Ten things I learned from the Vampire Lovers

1-Female vampires love to walk around in their nightgowns

2-There’s a lot of fog out when Vampires go walking around.

3-Having nightmares of being attacked may mean that you really have been attacked.

4-Vampires really just need to be staked, but cutting off their heads just looks cool.

5-Dudes get but in the neck, but women get bit on their breasts.

6-Doctors and butlers are expendable.

7-Mysterious men in black just show up to stay off in the distance and smile in an evil way.

8-Vampire killers have to have titles like Baron or General.

9-Hiding in your vampire grave really isn’t a great idea because all vampire killers look there first.

10-Being a lover instead of a fighter doesn’t really work out for vampires.

This is a decent outing for Hammer, but a little slow. As far as their 1970’s vampire films go I prefer Captain Kronos, Vampire Circus and Twins of evil to this one.

Hammer time

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This week I hope to review two films from Hammer studios. one the Mummy came out in the late 1950’s as Hammer was just getting the revival of classic monsters going. The other The Vampire Lovers came out in the early 1970’s as Hammer was trying to get more blood and sexuality into their horror films. I’ll take a stab at both and let you know what I think.

Ten things I learned from the Monolith Monsters

1957

1-A geologist in a small desert town can have a dull job until (see #2).

2-….a meteor crashes.

3-Picking up fragments from a meteor is okay unless a liquid spills on them.

4-People can be turned to stone by freaky mutating meteor fragments.

5-A reporter in a small desert has little to write about until (see#2).

6-Picking up fragments from a meteor and taking them isn’t so bad unless you submerge in water then watch out as all rocky heck breaks out.

7-Rocks can threaten to take out a whole town if they are space rocks that grow when they come in contact with water.

8-Combine water an old salt basin and boom you have a way to halt the monolith monsters.

9-If you don’t a real dam to bust then use a stock footage one.

10-Knowing something about geology can save the town if wild, dangerous rocks from space are involved.

This one seems to get a bit lost when 50’s sci-fi/monster films are discussed likely because rocks and not the typical monster. The film benefits from a solid cast, a sound story, fine locations and for then decent effects. I never saw this one until just a few years ago when it came out on the universal set of 50’s films. It’s a little slow, but be patient because overall it’s a good one.

 

 

 

The Screaming Skull

1958

This dude gets remarried and brings wife #2 back to the estate where wife number #1 died from slipping and whacking her head near a small pond. Nothing creepy about that and if you are watching the film there really turns out not top be much that’s creepy about that. There’s a priest and an older woman who come by and are glad the dude has a new wife. The gardener (also the director) is slow, but was friends with wife #1. Wife #2 hears noises, walks around in under garments and hey isn’t this movie supposed to have something about a skull? Oh yeah she eventually sees on in a cabinet…or does she? Bumbumbum bum. Is she going bonkers? Is it a spirit? Do you care? Should you care? Why am I asking so may questions? Much like this film I guess that I am trying to stretch something out of nothing. The skull shows up more, the wife runs around more and screams a bit. We wonder is out of gourd or if we are for putting up with this film. The gardener/producer mutters around. The husband puts a skull on a stick and grins…whoa what the… hey that might be something let’s go back to that. Oh he’s evil and trying to drive his new wife crazy. The gardener tries to get the skull and gets smacked with some slaps that don’t match the sound effects. Then skull turns on the husband and starts screaming well it’s more of an annoying buzzing actually. The skull attacks him and appears to bite him?! He dies and all is well unless of course you were the now dead looney bar husband. Roll those credits.

The negatives-This film has a bad reputation and it’s deserved. It’s very talky and although there is a plot there just isn’t enough to keep that story going for most of the length of the film. It ultimately feels like a TV show length plot stretched into a film and the holes are glaringly visable. The acting isn’t bad although Peggy Webber’s bra may have given the strongest performance in the film.

The good-The black and white photography helps as does the location.

 

Comet TV-Almost one year later

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I don’t have cable so I depend on DVDs and what few channels I can get. Although over the last 3-4 years I have gotten more channels in. Last Halloween saw the debut of Come TV a sci-fi and horror channel. I was excited at first, but like any free channels it had positives and negatives. Unfortunately changes were slow to come and I ended watching it less and less as they showed the same things over and over. September has finally seen some changes that have me watching it again with great hope.

Here are some positive changes they have made.

1-Bringing on Mystery science theater 3000. It’s only two episodes and only on Sunday evening, but now they have a show worth tuning in for.

2-Replacing 1990’s Outer Limits with the classic 60’s show. The 90’s version could be decent, but when someone says Outer Limits I think classic so I am glad they have it on a week night every week now.

3-Godzilla! They had a Labor Day marathon and now show them on Friday nights this month. Right now it’s just been like five different films, but hey glad Big G is on.

4-Vincent Price movies. For most of the first year the horror films they showed mostly left a lot to be desired, but now they are getting into some more classic material. I knew this channel was with Warner Brothers so I had been hoping for months they tap into some of the good films that company owns the rights to.

5-Less Stargate TV series. I like the shows well enough and knew with this channel they were starting with it as their feature show. However it soon turned to be like their only show and it was on all the time. Then they’d show the same episode multiple times in a week. They have replaced it with the Outer Limits and other shows. While the other shows are ones that I have never seen I do look forward to something different. If they stink at least they are only on one night a week.

6-The Godzilla dance party commercial. It’s a humorous commercial promoting them showing Godzilla films. Yes, humorous commercials are great. Channels like Cozi and MeTV have been doing them for years. Keep the funny commercials promoting their films and shows coming.

Things they need to work on.

1-When they come back from a commercial and show their logo please say or have on the screen what movie this is. Several times I tune in the middle wanting to know what this is and they say nothing so I have to look online.

2-Keep the Godzilla films coming with hopefully more variety.

3-Change the nightly schedule every six months or even quarterly.

4-They show some brief interviews and behind the scenes items on Stargate or with Roger Corman in place of commercials to fill in between movies  that are shorter. I like that better than commercials, but lately they seem to be showing more commercials.

Ten things I learned from The Haunted Palace

 

1963

1-Inheriting a castle from a nutbar isn’t a good thing.

2-If people of a town tell you to leave as soon as you arrive maybe you should consider it.

3-A painting of a crazy ancestor is likely not a good thing to keep around.

4-Mutated townspeople should further emphasize that get out of town thing.

5-If a whacked out looking servant (Lon Chaney Jr.) shows up with a flimsy reason as to why he’s there don’t believe him.

6-If your husband’s hair gets more grey suddenly and he starts acting like a different person then he’s likely possessed by his evil ancestor.

7-If townspeople start dying horrible deaths then it’s probably due to the evil at the castle.

8-Summoning demons from hell = no darn good for anyone involved.

9-If you are evil and up to bad things you should at least hire some outdoor guards to keep irate townies away.

10-When all else fails burn down the evil building!

 

This is a Lovecraft story that American International tried to pass off as a Poe film. Either way it’s a darn good one with solid performances, fantastic sets and a strong enough story.

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Did you miss me? I am sure that you did. Don not worry, Skeletor is back to enlighten you with another animated of the month. The time it is that masked opponent of those silly turtles it is of course Shredder.tmnt1987_shredder

He had a great name and costume plus a black heart and a truly evil spirit. He didn’t always employ the most competent helpers though. Still a villain worth noting.

Until next time stay nasty!