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A*P*E

ape

Ten tons of rotten gorilla poo is more like it.

1976

Backstory-So supposedly here’s what happened-everyone knew that Dino Delaurentis had a re-make of King Knong coming out around Christmas, 1976. Well some people decided to make their own big monkey film with an American and South Korean cast with it filmed in Korea. It was also done in 3-D. Some sources says the title actually stands for Attacking Primate Monster. On a teaser poster they called it The New King Kong which earned them a law suit from Delaurentis. It was also reportedly known by all of the following title at various and in different countries-Super King Kong, King Kong Returns, Hideous Mutant, The King Ape and Attack of the giant, horny gorilla.

Who’s in this?

Joann Kerns (billed as Joanna DeVarona) as Marilyn an American actress who gets nabbed by the beast. This was her first film and soon afterwards she was landing roles on various shows like Emergency, Rhoda, The Love Boat and more before playing the mom on Growing Pains for seven years. In more recent years she has spent more time as a director.

Rod Arrants as reporter Tome Rose. Arrants was in various things for several decades with his most regular work coming in soap operas in the 70’s and 80’s.

Alex Nicol as Colonel Davis who seems as bored as the audience will feel. Nicol worked regularly as bad guys and heroes in action films and shows in the 50’s and 60’s.

ape

Keep the camera moving and they may not notice how cheap the suit is. Too late.

What’s this about? Two dudes are hanging out on a ship when bam a dude in a moth eaten monkey suit busts out and the ship explodes. Monkey  giant type person goes and gets all soggy in the water and then wrestles a fake shark that looks like it’s on it’s last leg. Eventually he comes a shore and starts stomping villages. Meanwhile Marilyn is a famous American actress coming to film a movie in Korea and she meets up with old flame and turtleneck fan Tom. Of course guy in ratty ape suit grabs the only blond in South Korea and takes off with her. Members of both the American and South Korean army go after Mr. Monkey pants. I think during the confrontation the director went “wave your arms around wildly, Ape but don’t hurt the helipcoptor because it’s the only one we got”. Of course they also should have said don’t reach too high or the audience will see that the sleeves on the suit are not long enough for the ape actors arms. We get a bunch of footage of people runnning over and over, lots of soldiers loading into helicoptors and some strange dialog on phone calls with army officers. At some point the army decides that they have had enough of this mediocre monkey and they are going to go after him with their toy tanks and like a dozen soldiers. The giant gorilla throws rocks at the soldiers although some of the rocks are on visible strings and some bounce like superballs. The fuzzy fiend fights the same toy tank over and over. At some point it was deemed time to end the film so the horrible hariy is taken down by toy army. Roll the credits please.

The negatives-The acting, effects, and music are all subpar however none of those are the worst part of this film. The mighty Peking man suffered from some of those same things and it copies King Kong too, but it’s a fun film. The difference is that The mighty Peking man tries hard to be entertaning while this film just feels like they have 20 minutes material and they are trying desperately to stretch it into being film length. This is beyond abd and I don’t mean so bad it’s good. This is so bad that was falling asleep during giant monster fight scenes and I wasn’t sleepy before the movie.

The positives-I kind of like the falling rocks, but they showed them for too long so you began to wonder why they were bouncing so much. I sort of the liked failed 3D attempt of the rocks coming towards you because it showed the strings. However they used the same shot over and over so then I got tired of it. That’s it.

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Yeah, the movie stunk like a dirty diaper under the noonday sun, but we got our paychecks.

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About markmc2012

I have watched far too many horror and sc-fi shows in my life. Now I feel the need to share this wealth of knowledge and make others suffer.

2 responses to “A*P*E

  1. I was thinking that the title stood for Awful Primate Event.

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