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Prisoners of the lost universe

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1983

Who’s in this?

Richard Hatch as Dan a martial artist, driver of a pick-up truck, wearer of a flannel shirt and soon to be traveller to another dimension. Hatch most known for playing Apollo on the original Battlestar Gallactica.

John Saxon plays Kleel a tyrant and all around bad dude. John Saxon was Enter the Dragon, Battle beyond the stars, Night on Elm street and a whole ton of other stuff. He is still acting today and closing in on 200 credits. Absolutely wonderful character actor with a great stare and an awesome voice.

Kay Lenz as Carrie host of Weird and off thingy show. She will soon end up in another universe and as the only blond woman there every stinky guy around want her. Lenz started acting while still in her teens including an episode of Andy Griffith, American Graffitti and she played the title character in Breezy. She also voiced American Maid on the Tick cartoon in the 90’s.

Beyond these three the guy playing the dwarf here played a dwarf in Hawk the slayer two years earlier. The guy playing the Greenman here was an elf in Hawk the slayer. Larry Taylor plays Vosk here and although he wasn’t in Hawk the slayer he was a busy British character actor in a lot of movies and shows in the 70’s and 80’s frequently playing scuzzy, ugly types.

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That’s right, baby I was in Enter the dragon.

What’s this about?

Dan and Carrie meet and scream at each other before following a scientist into another world via a very cheap looking device. They wind up in another dimension that doesn’t look that alien (I believe it’s actually South Africa). Carrie runs into a hairy, muddy guy while Dan gets chased by glowing eyed little half naked boogers. Dan meets up with a dwarf who is neither cunning or funny and a green guy who’s only power seems to be that he has a poor green make-up job and dress like a second rate new wave wannabe. They beat some weak not so powerful nothings then they and Carrie meet up with Kleel. He’s a mean guy who likes to show his muscles and his meanness. He smiles and shoots a dude dead, slaps Carrie and eventually kills his former lover. Dan and Carrie have had enough of this other universe madness and they run into the doctor whose machine broght them here. He is now a pal of Kleel’s but they want him to take them home. Eventually there’s a fast and semi-silly battle, the good people escape dragging the doctor with them. the dwarf finds the device they need and boop Dan and Carrie go back to 1983 leaving the doctor in the other universe. Take that, doctor dunderhead. Roll the credits.

The negatives-The dwarf and the greenman added very little. Kay Lenz was much better when she was younger, here she looks good but comes across as being very wooden. The stunt coordinator did a terrible job here. It’s like they wanted to get the fight scenes over with fast and just hurried everything and then they added in some comedic sounds for the hits and sword clashes. It felt like the writers of this film saw Flash Gordon, Beastmaster (and Hawk the slayer) and they said oh let’s make a fantasy film. Although they forgot about plot, pacing and points of interest as they went into the film. To illustrate how little they knew Saxon’s character knocks down Hatch’s character with one punch and then Lenz knocks down Saxon with one punch (metal in her hand). Seriously? The top badass and the martial artist good guy never have a real knock down drag out yet the 80 pound woman knocks out the baddie? Geez, watch some more action flicks to get a clue.

The positives-John Saxon of course! Even with a weak script he still gave his all, flexed his muscles and was just as tough as he could be (despite the little Kay Lenz knockout thing). The settings were decent, but the camera angles closed in real quickly at times. Richard Hatch did what he could, he was alright overall.

This film isn’t quite as bad as it’s reputation, but it could and should have been better.

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Yes, we are freaks and proud of it!.

1980’s sci-fi action week marches on with The Raiders of Atlantis likely on Tuesday!

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About markmc2012

I have watched far too many horror and sc-fi shows in my life. Now I feel the need to share this wealth of knowledge and make others suffer.

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