Upcoming stuff and junk

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I don’t know if it was the cold or the passing of Harold Ramis or just outright laziness but whatever the cause I have not finished all of the Zardoz related topics I hoped to do this week. So I’ll extend Zardoz week over the weekend to get it down. Robin will be by on Sunday. For next week look for Dr. Smith to be by plus Meal and a movie. Also I hope to review Ghostbusters 2 and Invasion of the bee girls.

Take care and remember Zardoz doesn’t like you or much of anything else, but that’s his problem.

 

Dr. Smith’s insult of the week

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Many thanks to Mr. Zardoz for allowing me time to interrupt his week to share an insult with you. This week it is
Cantankerous Cold-hearted Clump. Be sure to emphasize the Clump when using this masterpiece upon a deserving soul. This is indeed a powerful insult so use it fittingly. Ta-ta for now, good people.

10 quick thoughts about Zardoz

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As Zardoz week rolls on here is a list of quick thoughts or related things to this film. I will get to a proper review in the week as well.

1-I only saw this movie for the first time about six years ago.

2-I first saw pictures of the floating head Zardoz when I was maybe 12.

3-The pictures of the floating head are what made me want to see this film.

4-While wondering about this film for years I never met anyone who had seen it.

5-Despite being interested in this film I had never read a detailed review of it until after I saw it.

6-It took me at least four sittings to make it through the film the first time.

7-I have watched it maybe seven times total.

8-I still can’t believe Connery agreed to do this film.

9-Maybe not the strangest film I have seen, but maybe one of the strangest high budget films I have ever seen.

10-When I think of 70’s cult films I think of this film first.

There you go, but there is plenty more Zardoz to come. The big head himself will be here to deliver a funny on Wednesday then a review of the film on Thursday followed by a double dose of Zardoz funnies of Thursday to round things.

10 things I learned from She-wolf of London

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1-June Lockhart was less annoying when she was younger.

2-Muddy shoes and a wet nightgown does not a werewolf make or something like that.

3-Despite the title and the fact that Universal made this it has nothing to do with their earlier film The werewolf of London.

4-The guy that played Gidget’s dad was young once.

5-If you get fog every night it doesn’t bother you.

6-Some guys just like to sit on park benches in the middle of the night waiting to be attacked.

7-Today around 60 minutes and it’s the length of a TV show, but back then 60 minutes could be a movie, who knew?

8-Apparently in turn of the century London it was okay to spy and stalk everyone.

9-Some times the meanest looking person really is the culprit.

10-There is no monster in this film.

This film gets a lot of criticism because well there eventually turns out to be no monster. So it’s a suspense film instead of a monster film, for that it does alright. However the title and the fact that Universal did it while they were still doing the monster cycle of films displeases a lot of Universal horror fans. I understand that, but the film is okay or slightly above rather than bad. The acting is solid and it looks good enough, just don’t go in expecting a drooling female werewolf.

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Hercules in New York

 

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Us in a movie? Youz guys gots to be kiddin’!

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AKA-Hercules the movie, Hercules goes bananas (I saw it under this title on a VHS copy at a rental store in the 80’s)

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So someone had the bright idea to make a comedy about Hercules. They hired this Austrian bodybuilder named Schwarzensomething or other and billed him as Arnold Strong. Then they hired the guy that voiced Top Cat to play a Pretzie a pretzel vender and more comic relief. So in this Hercules is in Olympus or some park in New York. He mouths off to Zeus or a soap opera actor with a bad wig in front of the rest of the Olympians or a bunch of second and third rate actors and actresses in bedsheets. Zeus sends Herc to Earth as punishment. There he ends up on a ship and tries to leave when they dock so a bunch of goonie sailor try to fight him. He has a mighty battle oh, wait no budget for such so loser guys just bounce around eventually fall in the water to make this look like a battle of some kind. Herc runs into Pretzie and he rattles on about some looney talk. They meet this professor and his daughter Helen. Herc shows off his might and sports skills by throwing the discus and javelin further than some puny college lumps. People blather on, Herc speaks in a thick Austrian accent and Pretzie gets Herc into wrestling. Herc goes out with Helen, but eventually a guy in a ratty bear suit escapes from the zoo and Herc has to teach him a lesson in Central Park in the greatest non-actor vs. man in a bear suit fight in central park ever! The Olympians disagree on whether to help or hinder Herc on earth and he gets some of both, lucky and unlucky him. Pretzie gets in over his head with some gangster types who seem to have forgotten this in 1968 New York and not 1920’s Chicago because they dress and act like the latter. Okay if Herc wins all is okay, but one of them goddess types takes his power away! Yikes so Herc loses the weight lifting thingie and then he, Pretzie and Helen flee from the gangsters. They end up in a warehouse for a big fight with everyone acting like they just learned how to walk. Herc is getting roughed up so some wrestlers dressed in bed sheets show up to help toss gangster around. All is fine and Herc goes back to Olympus. At the end Zeus decides to take his tacky wig and ridiculous facial hair and go to earth as well, what a crazy idea. Roll the credits.

The negatives-It’s slow. It’s supposed to be a comedy but it’s more laughable than funny which is alright. There isn’t much of a budget either so you get what you get. Listen for car noises when we are supposed to at Mount Olympus.

The positives-So we get to see Arnold long before he became the biggest action star on the planet. He had the last laugh in that he did this crazy, low budget film but eventually he made it and can look back and laugh at it. This is a fun film because he’s in it and because of it’s lack of budget, plot or much else. Just total silliness. There are two versions on the DVD. One with Arnold’s voice and one where he his dubbed with a very dull and serious voice, go with Arnold’s voice it’s way better. I liked Arnold Stang as a voice actor and comedian and here he tries despite the very limited material. Deborah Loomis isn’t much of an actress, but what a smile. I first saw this film in the 90’s on cable and knew it by reputation. I was expecting a real groaner, but was surprised with it being an enjoyable lump of cheese. I bought it for $5 on DVD like ten years ago and I watch it several times every year.

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We spent most of the film’s budget on bed sheets.

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Deborah Loomis as Helen.

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Why didn’t he wear a beanie in the Terminator?

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Even Arnold can’t make a turtleneck look very cool.

Upcoming stuff and junk

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I’m hoping to churn out reviews of the She-wolf of London and Hercules goes to New York between today and Saturday. Then after that will be the event that only one large stone headed being has been waiting for. That’s right it will be Zardoz week featuring of course a review of the film, Zardoz will stop by several times to deliver a few funnies and there will likely be a list of sorts too. Zardoz has allowed Robin and Dr. Smith to drop by and deliver their columns during the week plus I need to squeeze in the meal and a movie before the end of the month too.