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Ten lessons I’ve learned from Hammer films

hammer intro


I’ve watched way too many films from Hammer studios and many of them I have seen numerous times. Here is a list of things that these films have taught me.

Don’t bring Dracula back to life no matter how cool you think it may be. It will only end in death

Don’t trust anyone named Frankenstein, they are up to no good.

Every third guy seems to be named Karl.

It’s okay to wear tacky wigs because almost everyone wears one.

If you go to a tavern there’s about an 8 out of 10 chance that Michael Ripper will be the bartender.

It may be a rubber bat on a visible strong but it can still kill you.

Even if you know it’s really daytime out someone else may be pretending that it’s really night time so just play nice and go along with it.

If a circus comes to town and people start being bumped off from strange bites on their necks then get out of town pronto because it’s vampires.

If young people are being killed off and then their bodies vanish well it must mean they are being turned into zombies by a local rich dude.

If the film is about over and you are in a castle or house then get out because it will catch on fire at the end of the movie.

burn dr


About markmc2012

I have watched far too many horror and sc-fi shows in my life. Now I feel the need to share this wealth of knowledge and make others suffer.

6 responses to “Ten lessons I’ve learned from Hammer films

  1. Thats a brilliant list! I love watching the Hammer Horror films, they are such classics

  2. I think the key tip for doctors would be to take seriously any crimes involving puncture marks to the neck. If they paid more attention to this key early warning sign, there’s be a lot less bother.

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