Upcoming junk and stuff

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So after two sloppy and hurried reviews I am almost caught up on space vampire week. Star Trek’s Mantrap will be up on Friday to wrap up the week. Next week will be space spoof week with reviews of Galaxina, Spaceballs and Galaxy Quest.

I am thinking about bringing back Robin’s Holy words, Dr. Smith’s Insult of the week and the once short lived Saturday Morning Flashback. Let me know if you think I should bring these features back or just let them lay there.

Have a great week!

Planet of the vampires

 

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Oh, yes we are the height of space age fashion.

1965

So these poorly dubbed people  strangely land on this planet after losing contact with another ship. They try to kill each other and then snap out of it. They are on this foggy planet yet they still spot the missing ship. So they add motorcycle helmets onto their leather suit, grab some big caulk guns and head off to the other craft. There they find dead people and everyone seems to have killed everyone else. So they wrap the bodies in plastic and bury them under metal doors in shallow graves-weird. There some more poorly dubbed yammering and woman showing off poofy wigs. Dead crew members rise up and scare the living-awhoooooo. The captain and Sonya (the redhead) are special as they put on orange leather suits and explore an ancient ship. There they find big skeletons and something that seems to work like a really painful joybuzzer. Meanwhile two dead guys trying not to act like dead guys full the living crewmembers into thinking they are alive and board their ship. They steal this vital part from the ship and leave, but are found out and it’s revealed they are actually ancient aliens who caused these humanoids to kill each other and then took over the bodies-ew take that. The Captain and Sonya go after the stolen part, more living people die and there is  battle out on the foggy planet. The Captain and Sonya return with the part and install it. They and Wess are the only ones left so they take off. All is wonderful and the good have triumphed over evil. Take that, you good for nothing…wait, what’s that? You say the Captain and Sonja were actually killed getting the part? And they are really controlled by ancient aliens too? Oh man poor Wess is in for it now. So hoping to stop the aliens he disable the device that turns away meteors from the ship-only he has to kill himself to do it -aieeeeee I am dead for real. The aliens/captain and Sonya say oh well now we’ll have to land on the nearest planet which happens to be earth! Oh, yowzers, the surprise, the twist, eh roll the credits.

The negatives-Despite the title the creatures here are more like zombies than vampires. The plot kind of goes somewhere, but it’s also a bit messy at times.

The positives-I like the outfits a lot, not practical perhaps, but they look cool. The ship and the planet are very cool, much like a 30’s or 40’s pulp cover come to life. While the story isn’t fantastic, the suspense and the feelings of being trapped on a planet with a real threat help make this film worth watching. Definitely worth checking out.

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And they say that the Grinch’s heart grew three times that day-ew don’t show us!

 

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Hey look Gilligan is still stuck on that island.

Buck Rogers-Space Vampire

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1980

Buck and Wilma stop at this space base that looks like was built from Legos. They are to drop off Twiki for repairs and then go off on a trip. Hey, wouldn’t you know it a spacecraft comes crashing into the base -kerplooie! Everyone is dead, but not dead according to the doctor of the space base although maybe he’s a doctor and maybe he’s not. Anyways something  fishy is going on. Tapes by the ship captain say someone was killing their crew off one at a time, but they couldn’t see anyone because you know invisible killers are the cheapest kind to create. A red dot appears and a cat chases it, oh wait all that is true except for the cat part. So this red dot floats around and stalks Wilma and she feels all icky, but doesn’t know why. The doctor is attacked by and turned into the dead/not dead crewmembers. That’s what you get for giving out crap information! Wilma is attacked by the worst looking space vampire ever as he looks kind of like Nosferatu if a eight year with their eyes closed did the designing. Buck shows up to scare off the vampire, but the beastie vanishes right before the space station commander gets there to see Buck pointing a gun at Wilma. So Buck gets put in jail-take that, Mr. I’m from the cool past. The vampire comes after Wilma and drains her force/power/whatever with his fingernails-really, trim those things! She is now semi-vamp like and goes into the cell to get Buck. He wards here off with this vampire repellent thing which looks more something you scrape your foot with. So time is running out-let’s get this over with. The vampire gets Wilma and Buck and the space station commander see him and give chase. Vampire and Wilma leave in Bucks ship. Oh, no that’s terrible oh wait quick thinking and paranoid Buck put a thing on device to prevent someone else from leaving through the stargate. The vampire tries to get through and it shocked (not as shocked as I was by his uni-brow) and poof he’s gone. The people who were not dead are not really not dead and actually alive again. All is well so roll the credits.

The negatives-Logic is tossed out the window on this one as it in most episodes of this show.

The positives-Although not  a well thought out episode it does try to offer some suspense and action. Chistopher Stone (The Howling and tons of shows) plays the space station commander and he was a decent enough actor.