Space spoof week-Galaxina

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1980

This space patrol ship is staffed by several dudes and one robot who looks like a female. The Captain’s last name is Butt…wahahaha that is so hilarious…wahahaha oh wait it’s not that funny at all. Geez hope this gets better. The robot is the title character and all the male crew members think she’s hot, but wish she was a real woman. The other two main crewmembers are Thor and Buzz. There are some sort of laser fights between space ships. then the police cruiser are ordered to go find the crystal the Blue Star. Somewhere around this time crew visits an alien brothel, the captain give birth to an alien, Galaxina changes her programming to give herself emotions and oh man is this movie still going on? I think there is a Uranus joke -hehehe that’s rich, that’s almost as good as Captain Butt! Then Galaxina gets the Blue Star, but she is grabbed by an intergalatic motorcycle gang and taken to their hang-out on a multi-colored planet. Oh, come on this is making Ice Pirates look funny. However this does provide a little bit of action as Thor and Buzz swoop in and rescue Galaxina. They blaze off away from the motorcycle gang or perhaps they are trying run out on this film. Then there is some more talking blah, blah, drone, drone, drone. Galaxina now loves Thor since she changed her programming and roll the credits for those that are still here and awake.

The negatives-Didn’t you read the review above? The movie spoofs Star Wars, Star Trek, Alien and others. However the problem is other than a very few mild chuckles the film just isn’t funny. It’s not even silly, but rather it’s dull and flat. That’s how it starts because it falls apart as it goes along. I’ve heard the cast and mostly Dorothy Stratten get blasted for this, but really it’s the fault of the writers. The script is so poor that even delivering it the best you could wasn’t going to make it work.

The positives- Let’s face it the only real reason this film is known is because Playboy playmate Dorothy Stratten was in it. Her death shortly after it’s release possibly made more people seek out this film years later. For her part she looks lovely (there is no nudity in this film). Despite being a spoof I actually think the ships both the exteriors and the interiors looked good for the time. I actually found myself rewinding a couple of times to check out the ship designs. I guess perhaps this film deserves some credit for being one of the first space spoofs.

Overall this a tough film to make it through and honestly this was second try and I probably only made it because I had already committed to writing it.

1980’s arcade games-Crossbow

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This is a new feature that I hope to do oh every so often. I played way too many arcade games in the 1980’s so now I am going to spew put something about some of them.

This game was made in 1983, but I am almost sure I never saw it in my local arcade until fall of 1984. It’s a side scrolling game with a slight difference that being that you protecting the¬†adventurers who stroll along the screen like they don’t have a care in the world. So they are putting their fate in your hands to shoot villains and other items that try to kill them. So you use a Crossbow (duh), take aim at the baddies and try to help your people survive. I loved this game back in 84-85 mainly because of the then awesome graphics and frantic sound effects. I was slightly into D&D and fantasy films back then so I took to this game right away. ¬†I am clumsy with non-joysticks anyhow, but I remember if being slightly difficult to use rather large crossbow, swivel it around and try to take out relatively small threats. I got slightly better at the game, but never really good. I know home versions were later made for several different Atari systems, but I never played any of them. I have not played this one since 1985 but I still like what I see on the screen captures of it, but I am not sure if it would be as fun to play or not.

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