Upcoming junk and stuff

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I probably won’t be posting tomorrow so Happy New Year’s a day early! I hope to review Guardians of the Galaxy on Friday. I’ve thought about feature to continue, start or bring back for 2015. I’ve settled on three. Robin’s Holy Exclamations will start back up hopefully weekly as will 80’s arcade games. It came from the bargain bin will appear hopefully twice a month. Apart from those I will continue with the usual barely written reviews, occasional lists and assorted rants and such.

Of course playoffs are this weekend so I plan on being busy watching those. Although my team has a bye this week (Denver). Should be some good games, but my feeling is all the home teams win this week.

I don’t get many TV channels as we don’t have cable and once TV went digital we lost most of our network channels. However the other day our This channel (crap) suddenly had ME tv (solid) and what had been ME tv suddenly had Cozi tv. We never had Cozi before but that means now we’ll get the Six Million dollar man, The Bionic Woman, Knight Rider, Zorro, Magnum PI and other classic shows. So I am pretty excited about that, probably more excited than anyone else in my house.

Take care!

It came from the bargain bin-Street Fighter

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1994
Purchased at Big Lots recently.
Cost-$3
Why this could be good? I’m a big fan of the game and I liked a few JCVD films back in the day.
Why this could be bad? Everyone I knew who saw it said it was average or worse.

Guile is the main hero as a French accented, US flag tattoo wearing soldier (?!). Bison is the villain and some big old nasty plan hatched. Eventually all the other characters from the game appear and end up on different sides of this battle. There’s martial arts competition, military actions, gun battles, evil plots and all that kind of going on to some extent throughout the film. The main villains (Bison, Sagat, Vega) sneer, look evil and try to cause problems -ewwww take that good people. While the obvious heroes (Guile, Cammy, Chun Li) fight for what’s good, just and what the script tells them to fight for. Others like Ken and Ryu go from indifferent to maybe bad to good just in case you wondering or cared at all by this point. Somewhere along the line the director said “what have I done?”, no actually he said “we are running out of time and money so let’s set up a grand finale and blow stuff up”. So that’s what we get. There’s some fights with evil losing. The bad guy lair explodes. Zangief is forgiven his crimes because he holds a door open for the good guys while the other baddies remain bad. Ken and Ryu both become good for ummm good. At the end of the film the cast try their best to recreate poses of the game characters with not so impressive results. Game over.

The negatives-I think the first one that comes to mind is that for an action film based on a legendary fighting game this film lacks memorable fights. They take too long to get to real fights and when they do they are short and we see close ups of part of the action rather than a whole fight scene. Definitely real missed opportunities. With this many characters in one film it’s understandable that some get fleshed out more than others. However some of my biggest character complaints are…
1-That skinny soldier was T. Hawk? They didn’t even try on him.
2-Dhalsim loses his hair at the end and that’s like we all get on him being the Dhalsim we know. He was around before Cammy and Vega in the game yet they shoved him to the side in this film.
3-In this film Balrog is good and DeeJay is bad. Why? Did the writers of this movie ever see these characters in the game? I think not.
There are also the usual plot holes and perhaps worst of all I never really cared as much about the characters in this film as I did while playing the game.

The positives-The locations are nice, actually the storming the fortress scene at the end makes good use of the location. I liked that they tried to include all of the characters from the game even if they didn’t get most of them right. I liked when Sagat and Deejay thought they were getting something valuable only to find that they’d saved some Bison bucks.

Was it worth $3? The price is lower that the average bargain bin price of $5 so that means the film doesn’t have to be as good to be worth less money. I suppose that’s right. However for me in evaluating the value of a film for what I paid for it I go to two things-was it good and how many times would I watch it again? For the first one I have to say the film was below average. It had far more faults than I figured it would. The one thing I was hoping for was good fight scenes and it didn’t have enough of those. For the second question no I don’t have the desire to see this film again any time soon. So I’d say unfortunately it was not worth the $3.

I hope to this bargain bin segment twice a month starting in January. I already have some films lined up for the next few months. Some possibilities for 2015 include-
The Scorpion King action pack
Mortal Kombat double feature
Tales from the darkside the movie
Konga
Four sided triangle
Spaceways
Future Sport
Short Circuit double feature
Hancock
The wolfman (remake)
The Neverending story double feature
The monster maker
X the man with X ray eyes
Godzilla against Mechagodzilla
Casper meets Wendy
Werewolf the beast among us
Sherlock Holmes Double Feature (w/Basil Rathbone)
Idle Hands
Silver Bullet
Jason goes to hell
The land that time forgot/People that time forgot double feature
Alien Apocalypse
Crucible of Horror
Man of steel
Collateral Damage/Eraser double feature

It came from the bargain bin: Coming soon

Okay, so I am going to start up another new segment. However unlike most other new segments I start I thinknI can and will actually keep this going. The criteria for films for this segment are…

1-To qualify as bargain bin it had to have cost $5 or less new.

2-It needs to be a film I have never seen or it’s been so long since I’ve seen it that I don’t remember it very well.

* I will allow a double disc set to be reviewed in one entry.

I will review them the way I normally review any other film however I will include…

1-background info such as where I got it, when I got it and how much it cost.

2-after the review I evaluate whether or not it was worth what I paid for it and why.

I’ll start this segment with the 1994 film Street Fighter likely tomorrow. Hope you’ll enjoy it.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

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2014

This is a story about a courageous female newsperson whose father was in on creating these powerful turtles, she discovers a metallic coated evil dude, she tries to convince her silly co-workers about what is going on but they go on being stupid and….then she. Wait, a turtles movie is supposed to be about the Turtles you know like the title says. However in this version April seems to take priority. Eventually we see the lumpy looking turtles and they do some fighting in between April’s parts. Shredder looks he was built by a bored hardware store employee, but he gives his evil portrayal-wahaha or something. There’s a meany pants scientist in this too and he has some lame brilliant plan that can’t possibly fail-okay of course it fails. The personalities of the turtles are developed more and more as the film progresses…just kidding this is the April show so the turtles just whiz bang in for some brief action here and there. There are some explosions, some fights, some lame jokes and eventually the film ends. Good Lord roll the credits.

The negatives- Megan Fox is on screen way too much and she is awful like make me cringe kind of awful. She seems to think that moving her lips a lot counts as acting-it doesn’t. I knew they changed the turtles origin story and that’s okay, but tying April into it via her dad doesn’t work for me. The Turtles started out okay, but they never really develop their personalities that much. Raphael and Leonardo in particular are left as shadows of the characters we have come to know. The plot and the villains felt poorly planned out. The action was okay, but not enough to make up for the other many shortcomings.

The positives-I thought I’d hate the look of the turtles going into the film, but overall I was okay with it.

As much as I was hoping to find something about this one to like it just had far too many problems. I usually love the turtles in the comics, the cartoons and the previous films. The writers of this one didn’t respect the turtles enough to develop their characters, make them the stars or give them a good story to work around. When you take characters who have been around for awhile you at least to try and understand what it is about those characters that fans have liked for decades and that sure didn’t happen for this film.

Ten things I learned from Sharknado 2: The second one

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1-When a Sharknado happens once people aren’t surprised that it would happen again.

2-People in an airplane can be attacked by flying CGI sharks-even Will Wheaton.

3-Losing your hand to a shark doesn’t seem to hurt as bad as you may think.

4-Mets fans aren’t that surprised by a shark filled tornado coming into the stadium or maybe they were just glad for the game to end early.

5-Jared from Subway frequently sits in the Subway station eating a sandwich from Subway.

6-You can get bit on the butt if you turn your back on a subway shark.

7-Many people who battle sharknadoes seem to have had scary plastic surgery on their faces.

8-Cutting a giant shark with a massive chainsaw looks a lot easier than you think it would.

9-Newspeople are less shocked than anyone else by storms filled with sharks and they are more prepared to fight them.

10-Billy Ray Cyrus is as bad at playing a doctor as he was at trying to be a singer.

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The negatives-If you saw the first one or you looked at the title of this film before starting it then you know what you are in for. This one doesn’t even try to explain what’s going on very well because if you are watching it then you have accepted it’s craziness. There are lots of cameos and about as many bad ones as there are good ones. Billy Ray Cyrus, Jared from Subway, Downtown Julie Brown? Don’t care. The GCI might actually be worse this time around or it may be that they are just trying more unbelievable acts with the storms and sharks. Even though she misses most of the movie due to having her hand bit off Tara Reid still manages to suck the life out of every scene she’s in and Mark McGrath isn’t much better.

The positives-If you wanted sharks and tornadoes then you get plenty of them. The pace is steady so boredom shouldn’t be a problem unless you count being bored by too many storms and sharks. Will Wheaton is in this film for a minute or too before being killed by a shark-whether you like him alive or dead is up to you but I was glad to see him here. How in the  world did Judd Hirsch get pulled into this? A real actor in a film like this? He must have been hard up, but he shines as of course a New York taxi driver. Kurt Angle isn’t bad in his cameo as a fire chief. As bad as Tara Reid is in boths, I actually think that Ian Ziering is surprisingly alright. Probably because he excepts the role for it’s total insanity and stupidity and just goes with the flow.

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In the end it wasn’t as fun as the first one. It was much more self aware and having everyone in on the joke from the beginning doesn’t work as well (for me) as trying to act like this ridiculous story is real as the first one did to a greater extent. If you liked the first one at all then give this one a shot. The third one has been announced so you have been warned.

Christmas wrap-up

Batman smells

We survived Christmas and had a good holiday. One of my cats tried to “help” unwrap  the presents when we put them under the tree around 3:30 AM. So I spent the rest of the night sleeping on the couch to protect the presents from the cats. Fortunately my son got up around 7AM instead of his usual 5:30 AM on Christmas. The kids were pleased-my daughter asked for a sewing machine and that’s what she got while my son wanted Lego movie Lego sets so he got two of those. My wife also got a sewing machine because she wants to learn sewing again with my daughter. I got season one of the 1966 Batman series, some Star Wars coffee mugs and a Guardians of the Galaxy shirt. We watched some Christmas shows throughout the day and dinner at my dads. So it went well.  Hope everyone enjoyed the Christmas themed reviews here the last couple of weeks.  I will be wrapping up a few reviews over the next week as well as announcing a few projects I hope to accomplish. As always feel free to make any suggestions for topics or features you think I should keep. Looking forward to keeping the blog going in 2015!

10 things I learned from ‘Twas the night before Christmas

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1-Mice can talk.

2-Town council members always look bored.

3-Mice can wear clothing.

4-Writing a mean letter to the editor about Santa will screw your whole town over.

5-Mice can wear glasses.

6-Building a giant clock tower can be done really fast.

7-A curious mouse can screw up a new clock tower fast.

8-If your clock tower fails once the whole town will hate you.

9-Mice can set everything straight for a whole town.

10-Santa looks like a pig with a white beard.

This Rankin-Bass half hour production was loosely based on the famous poem. I tend to prefer the stop motion specials from Rankin-Bass over their animated shows. The story is good with it’s theme of faith. There are only three songs, but they are solid. The animation isn’t fantastic (so many people with buck teeth and a weird looking Santa) but it’s passable. Some people absolutely love this one. I think it’s more on the level of being good, but not essential.