
1990
Purchased at-Walmart (recently)
Cost-$3.50
I saw this on VHS once in the late 90’s and liked it, but have not seen it since.
So when they were coming up with a title for this did they have the following brainstorming sessions.
Edward Nailfile hands? No, not scary enough.
Edwars Icepick hands? Too scary.
Edward Hammerhands? You nailed it, well not really
Edward Spoonhands? I’m not digging it.
Eward Spatulahands? I’m not flipping over it.
Edward Sporkhands? Too weird.
Edward Tweezerhands? Too tiny.
Well let’s go with Edward Scissorhands
So there is this town that seems to blend 1967 with 1989. Anyways a struggling cosmetics saleslady stumbles upon a dude with scissors for hands up at the old castle on the hill. She does what everyone would do and runs like invites to come home with her. He does and ends up falling for the daughter Kim. He begins to fit in a little, but the neighborhood skank talks bad about him after he runs from her nastiness. Kim’s boyfriend is a piece of work too or a piece of something because he is not so nice. Edward gets caught breaking into a house even though his intentions were alright. Pretty soon most of the town begins to distrust. He accidentally cuts Kim and her brother within minutes of each other. This leads to the cops and the narrow minded morons town folk chasing Ed off and he runs back to his old castle. Some where before this point there was a flashback showing the old professor that used to live in the castle. He made Edward, but died before putting the regular hands on him. Back to present day er 1990. Kim follows Edward to the castle and unfortunately so does her drunken boyfriend. He acts like a jerk, Ed kills him and no more Rusty Griswold. Before the unicorns and rainbows can come in the town comes and sees the dead body, but Kim tells them Edward was killed too. They say “aw” and go back to their bright colored houses. Kim goes back and grows old without ever seeing Edward again. Edward makes snow by making ice sculptures..wait is that right…uh, yeah that’s what it says. Roll the credits.
The negatives-The ending is definitely a bit of a downer.
The positives-The cast is solid all the way across. The film looks fantastic down to the tiniest detail. The story is like a (then) modern take on a fairy tale and it works very well in that with Ed playing the innocent seen as a monster by some but as a blessing by others. This was definitely one of Tim Burton’s films that felt magical.
Was it worth $3.50? Definitely, a real bargain bin find. It was actually far better than I remember it being.

