Ten things I learned from Return of the dragon (Way of the dragon)

imagesBITC2MSHuntitledimages3K890T7Q bc   imagesH8BB68C6 images01G9THXU

1972

1-Giving Bruce Lee a badly dubbed voice is a crime.

2-When you are being bullied by baddies just call upon some guy you know from half way around the world.

3-Rome is a dangerous city to eat out in because fights are always happening in restaurants.

4-Everyone thinks you are a goon until you beat the snot out of some lackeys then everyone will love you.

5-Make sure to whittle some wood darts and then use them disarm villains from twenty feet away.

6-Don’t pick up nunchuks if you are clueless, you will only end up hitting yourself in the head.

7-When all your goons get pounded simply call over to America to get their best martial arts to come over and help you.

8- European and Japanese Karate champs are no match for Bruce Lee, then again the European champ was played by an Amercian and the Japanese champ was played by a Korean fighter.

9-Pulling out Chuck Norris’ chest hair doesn’t hurt him as much as it would a normal person.

10-Bruce Lee again Chuck Norris and that’s all that really matters.

Bruce Lee wrote, directed and starred in this film so it was very much his project. All of that shows through. The budget wasn’t large and that shows too, but the dedication to the fight scenes and Lee against Norris make this a must see. The English language version has some horrible dubbing, but the action and overall feel of the film win out. I get the impression that Lee liked Sergio Leone’s style of filmmaking because here he goes in for that kind of slow build-up to quick bursts of action. I actually hadn’t watched this one in some time and was glad to see that it still held up.

Die, sister, die!

diesisterdiex

 

1972

Characters in this film.

Edward-Brother to Amanda and Nell.

Amanda-Oldest of the three kids.

Nell-Youngest of the three, daddy’s favorite.

Esther-Nurse hired by Edward to watch Amanda and eventually kill her.

Mrs Rodriquez-Long time servant for the family.

Dr. Thorne-Family doctor.

Father-Father of the three kids listed above.

 

So Amanda has tried to kill herself again but failed. Her father died some time ago. Her brother James is a real snake (after all he did try to catch the A-team before), but acts concerned. He hires a nurse Esther  (don’t trust her she tried to take over Kirk in Catspaw) to watch Amanda but ultimately to let her succeed at suicide. The reason being so that Edward can get the house and all of the money. The father died some time ago and younger daughter Nell ran off and has not been heard from. So Amanda got almost everything and Edward is stuck being second in line and he’s okay with speeding up the process. Amanda is a shrewd woman and right away realizes Esther is likely working for Edward and comes and asks and lets Esther know she will be watching her. Then we get a lot of talking, Edward and Esther make out (yucky), but Esther says she worries that Edward will try to wipe her out once Amanda is gone to wrap up loose ends. Amanda questions Esther but eventually has a little respect for her. Edward goes to the hardware store to buy powerful poison to kill moles or maybe his sister, yeah I think it’s for his sister. He puts the poison in these pills she will be taking. Meanwhile Amanda has a nightmare- a spoiler nightmare. Amanda was stuck watching her father and helped him a lot. He was mean to her and distrusted Edward. Daddy-o got mad at Amanda and said he was going to take her and Edward out of the will and leave everything to Nell who hadn’t helped at all. Edward and Nell were nearby and heard this too. Nell laughs at Amanda over this and rubs it in her face. Amanda tries to attack Nell, she flees and Amanda calls for Edward to grab her. Edward with dollar signs in his eyes stops Nell. Amanda holds Nell’s arms while Edward strangles her with her scarf. Boom Nell is dead and the dad comes and sees it and ker-plunk he’s dead too. It’s hinted that Edward was going to hide Nell’s corpse in the house. Amanda is awakened from the nightmare by Esther. Now you may be wondering why I even mentioned the Doctor and Mrs. Rodriquez so okay here you go. Mrs. Rodriquez is having a check-up with the Dr. and reveals to him odd happenings about the fact that the day the father died Nell also left quickly. The doctor begins placing calls to see if Nell really got on a plane that day and learns there is nothing to say she did so he is suspicious. Edward gives the tainted pills to Esther and says have Amanda take these. Esther begins to but has a change of heart and tries to stop Amanda, but wrapped in guilt Amanda wants to die. She gets to the roof and despite Esther trying to stop her Amanda jumps to her death. The doctor and the police arrived in time to see the last part. Esther calls Edward to the house because her sister has died. Edward has his act ready, but says too much as he goes on about the pills causing his sister’s death but neither Esther or the doctor mentioned that as a cause of death because it wasn’t. Amanda had changed her will to leave everything to Esther not Edward and she left a full confession that she and Edward had killed Nell and said that Nell’s body is in a locked room in the basement. We get to see the shriveled corpse and Edward gets arrested. Esther decides not to stay at the house and leaves it to Mrs Rodriquez.

This film is slow and more a psychological thriller than a horror film. However it’s quite decent. It plays out more like a made for tv movie than a theatrical release, but that’s not the case. It’s well acted and everything falls into place by the end of the film. Parts of the plot and the dream sequence remind me some of Roger Corman’s Poe films only not so heavy handed. This was one of those bargain basement collections and I expected a clunker but was surprised by a very watchable film with some decent ideas.

 

 

dsd

 

imagesCA4S0RNJ

 

 

 

Captain Kronos – Vampire Hunter

6031__x400_captain_kronos_poster_02 CaptainKronosDynamicDuo ck ck5 ck9

1972 and 1974 are both listed

Young girls are being turned into old women in an isolated village. A former soldier Kronos and his hunchback assistant Grost rescue a young girl Carla who danced on a Sunday  and then tell her they are vampire hunters off on a mission . They then show up at the doorstep of their old friend Dr. Marcus to see what’s up with this youth draining stuff. Meanwhile more girls are being turned old and wrinkly and all that is seen is a figure in black who bites them on the lips to drain their youth. Kronos and Dr. Marcus are lead towards a rich local family the Durwards as possible suspects. The father died and the mother appears in bad shape, she blames Dr. Marcus for her husband’s death. They have two grown kids and the son seems sour while the daughter seems defiant. Around this time their servant hires some guys to go after Kronos with their swords. Hey it’s no biggie Kronos slices them like an onion and moves on. Meanwhile Dr. Marcus gets bit oh, crap. He starts turning younger and Kronos and his assistant have to kill him. That’s not an easy task as they say different vampires have different weaknesses so wooden stakes don’t work but hey what do you know iron kills these kind of youth suckers. So they make a special sword out of iron as Grost fashions one from a cross and adds a mirror sleeve. Meanwhile a townie witnessed Kronos offing Marcus and thinks Kronos is a real bad seed. So this guy organizes other townspeople to go after Kronos which results in them getting their rear ends kicked all over a graveyard. Oh, well at least it gave him a good workout to get ready for the main event. He is now convinced that rich family is behind all of this. So the girl who has been hanging with him goes there pretending to need help and the son and daughter let her stay in their living room. Someone comes downstairs and hypnotizes her. Meanwhile Kronos takes out the servant and sneaks in. He finds an odd mask in the mother’s room so she isn’t really an old hag. Downstairs  Kronos arrives in time to save the girl from being killed by get this the old woman and her dead husband. Seems they have been using the blood from young woman to revive the husband and to make the mother young. Aw and the once dead now alive dad who needs one more youth treatment is also a champion fencer. So he and Kronos go at it in a sword fight all over the living room after Kronos uses the mirror shield to immobilize the  woman’s mesmerizing glare. Kronos eventually kills the guy and the mother turning them both to skeletons and leaving their children to scream and be in shock. The good people ride off and roll the credits.

Stats-

Blind women in a tavern for no real reason-one

Number of 1970’s hairstyles on men even though it’s like a century and a half or so earlier-at least five

Number of old men filling in for girls drained by their youth-At least one, but maybe two

The negatives-Too much dubbing as usual with Hammer, but other than that it’s pretty much on.

The positives-A fine cast including John Carson and Caroline Munro plus a small cameo by Ian Hendry. The film looks great too and I always enjoy the plants shriveling as the cloaked figure walks by. The plot is a good twist on the regular old vampire angle. The action and the ideas of professional vampire hunters are well played too. A great one from Hammer films.

Negatives-

Blood from the mummy’s tomb

imagesCAA8NNUN

1971

Andew Keir as Professor Julian Fuchs an archaeologist, a man in the middle of a curse and wearer of a big bushy beard. Keir was a Scottish actor who had over 100 credits. Hammer fans will also know him from Quatermass and the pit, Dracula prince of darkness and the Viking Queen.

Valerie Leon as Margaret Fuchs (daughter of the above) and Queen Tera -cursed Egyptian royalty missing a hand, but she may or may not be on her way back to the land of the living. A tall british actress who is most know for this film and being in a couple of the comedic Carry On films, she also had small parts in two Bond films.

James Villiers as Corbeck another expedition member and he wants Queen Tera to come back. He worked in a lof of British television and had a great voice, but wore lousy hair pieces.

bftmtos

What’s this about?
Back in the ancient Egyptian days some scalliwags thought they were hot stuff by cutting off some queen’s hand and tossing it to the jackals/dogs. However a mist came rolling in and resulted in these guys getting a case of the slit throats. Oh, my gosh. Boom now it’s England in the 1970’s, I can tell by the floppy hair and groovy fashions. Margaret is given this big old red ring by her daddy oh, wowee says her boyfriend. Meanwhile her daddy the professor has all sorts of Egyptian artifacts in the basement that no one else is allowed to see. This smirky looking guy moves in nearby and spies on Margaret for a while like he had nothing else to do. Actually most people in this film just seem to either…
A-stand around talking
or
B-act like loons
Anyways eventually we learn all these people were involved in finding this ancient Egyptian queen the handless one from earlier. Well Margaret was born in England as this queen’s arm stump begin bleeding so there must be a link between the two (?!). So pretty soon Margaret starts acting funny, everyone involved with the finding of the queen soon begins to die because they all have these cursed artifacts that start scaring the beejeezus out of them. Oh, my a cheap looking artifact help me please!. Margaret’s boyfriend gets suspicious and rip his throat gets sliced open for all to see. The smirky guy was part of the dig too but he wants to bring the queen back which seems to mean the end for Margaret. Smirkyface tries reading from the scroll but the Fuchs family puts an end to him. Not before the queen comes back to life and begins battling with the father and daughter. Hey gravity and curses happen and the ceiling comes down crash. Now we are in a hospital and one woman has survived but she was hurt badly and is bound up like….a mummy! Which woman is it? Roll the credits and figure it out on your own.

The negatives-The script is a bit all over the place at times. There seems to be a lot going on, but only a thing thread between some parts.

Eventually it kind of comes together, but the acting and visuals do more than the script does.

The positives-The acting across the board is pretty solid. The film looks well enough for the small budget. Overall it’s a different kind of mummy film, but I think it’s the second best of Hammer’s four mummy films.

This film was based on a story by Dracula author Bram Stoker. Peter Cushing was originally cast as Professor Fuchs but after the first day of filming his wife took ill. He had to leave the film and they brought Andrew Keir in. Director Seth Putnam also died of a heart attack with one week to filming. Hammer head Michael Carreras came in to direct the last week and wrap it up.

blood-from-the-mummys-tomb

Brady Bunch-Fright Night

BradyBunch-FrightNight2

1972

Just the regular cast, no guests in this one.

What’s this about? Mrs. Brady is doing a sculpture of Mr. Brady’s head and yes this really will be important later on so make note. Upstairs Cindy and Jan hear noises, they look outside and see…that’s a freakin’, honest to goodness, spooktacular ghostie or so they think. The ghost disappears, the parents run in, Marcia wakes up says she saw nothing because she’s just too good for ghosts or something like that. The parents look upstairs and find an open window and a rocking chair that could have made a noise, but Mr. Brady thinks the boys had something to do with it. Oh, those rebel rowzers. Eventually Marcia thinks the boys did it too so the girls go nosing around in the boy’s room and find a ghost slide that could have been projected outside. Aw man those abusers of early 1970’s technology. Well, that just won’t do at all. The girls plan revenge! They get the boys to agree to betting their allowance that they can’t stay in the attic all night. That night a voice comes out in the attic and then a ghost rises out of an old chest you know kind of like the Great Pumpkin rising up out the pumpkin patch except this ghost is made out of plastic and uh there’s no pumpkin patch around. Bobby and Peter get scared and run out of the attic, they lose the bet, Greg discovers the girls did it and the parents say no more scaring each other. Alice makes the mistake of saying she doesn’t get scared. Greg realizes his parents said the kids can’t scare each other, but they didn’t say anything about Alice. Oh, no a loophole can only lead to no darn good. The kids have the house alone and plan on scaring Alice when she comes back. The door opens and the kids let looses with a flashing skull (not that kind of flashing, gutterbrain), recorded screams and a bedsheet ghost coming down the steps. Oh, wait it wasn’t Alice it was the parents-uh, oh now they are in for it. Note again the parents have that head sculpture because they just returned from where Mrs. Brady won third place for it. Well they set it down in the living room and go out of there to turn on the lights so they can find the kids and give them what for. Now Alice comes into the darkened house, sees the clay head, says who’s there and when she gets no response she whacks it with her purse and smash it crashes on the floor. The parents finally find the lights and they and the kids come to see the head all over the blessed floor. See, see what scaring and frightening gets you? A fractured clay head that’s what. The kids are grounded and Mrs. Brady realizes they made a ghost out of her new sheets. Bobby and Cindy attempt to put the head back together and it looks fairly monsterous and crooked so good job kids. Then Mrs. Brady is back to sculpting again with Alice and modeling and they throw one last joke in so hahaha roll the credits.

BradyBunch-FrightNight12

The negatives-Not much from me, I’m a fan of the show and have been since I was like five. Although I do have to add that when Mike and Carol walk into the dark house you can clearly see Jan and Marcia letting the ghost so I would think the parents saw them and would just yell for the kids rather than both leaving and taking a long time to find the light switch.

The positive-This one had a huge influence on me as it showed kids using cheap stuff to scare other kids which always sounded fun. I like the things the kids use for scaring each other and Alice, but the girls plastic ghost on a fishing line is my favorite for sure.

BradyBunch-FrightNight-halloween

This episode was originally shown four days before Halloween in 1972 and if you are watching on disc as I was this episode comes on the same side of the same disc that has the three part Hawaii episode. If you are not like me and have not seen every episode of this show 50 times like me then I’ll pass on that the third episode of the Hawaii trip has none other than Vincent Price in it. In a short period of time in the fall of 1972 the Brady’s had Vincent price in an episode and a ghost themed episode just a few weeks later. Pretty cool for ditzy kids show that couldn’t even show a toilet in the house.

Poster postings-Horror Express

DSC02844horrorclose DSC02842horror

If you have never seen this film well then you should. A frozen missing link unthaws/dethaws oh he’s not a freezer pop anymore.  Now he’s a live alien/missing link/monster on a train killing and causing all sorts of problems. Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee star in this one. This is one sheet I bought for about $13 in 2000. It has some deep creases and is tearing in spot unfortunately but it was like that when I got and hasn’t gotten worse since I’ve had it. It’s a very cool image though.

 

The legend of Boggy Creek

boggycreek2

1972

Who’s in this? Some people playing themselves and some playing others but not really anyone that did much else besides this.

What’s this about? This is refered to as a docudrama. So it’s documentary with people re-enacting or retelling events. In this film they are talking the monster of Boggy Creek or the Fouke monster. This is usually described as a bigfoot type creature that has been spotted many times since the 1930’s in the swampy area near Fouke, Arkansas. Fouke is the southwestern part of the state near where it borders Texas and Louisiana. So we get a bunch of short stories about people spotting monster on farms, in the woods and various other places. We also re-enactments complete with a shaggy form lurking far enough back that you can’t tell what it is. We even see a hairy arm reaching in a house to grab a guy while he’s on the potty. Man, you can’t even take a crap without a monster attacking you. That’s horrible. There’s some folk songs about the monster playing as we are shown scenes of the town and the swamp in between stories of sightings. Like any creature sightings related thingie you are going to have believers and non-beleivers. This film just compiles a bunch of sightings from people who are believers and throws it out there.

boggy_creek_2
How can a nice town like this have a monster?

The negatives-Given the style of the film it’s fairly slow. It’s people talking and low budget recreations. So that is not going to be for eveeyone. Even though it was made in the 1970’s the narration seems kind of dated almost like it’s from the 50’s. I think part of that was to paint the town of Fouke as the kind of back in time kind of town.

The postives-When I was in college on Friday nights one year me and a friend watch this show about ghost sightings. A couple of months into it my friend got mad and went on this rant about the show never really finding a ghost or proof of a ghost and that made him not want to watch it again. My point being if you go into this film looking for proof and sensational footage you will be let down. However if you like legends and hearing accounts that hint at the posisibility of the existance of such a creature then you may be entertained. I definitely fall into that second group.

A site about the Fouke monster.
http://www.foukemonster.net/

lbog4
I see a shaggy carpet out there.

Poster Postings-Fear in the night

DSC02029  DSC02031

This is an American one sheet of Hammer films 1972 suspense films Fear in the night with Peter Cushing, Judy Geeson (pictured), Ralph Bates and Joan Collins. This poster has pin holes and some yellowing on the back, but otherwise is in decent shape. I bought it on eBay with a Buy it now for $5 probably around 2002. A simple image, but I have always liked it. I think this film gets overlooked amidst all the vampire or more boody type films that Hammer was doing around the same time. There you go.

Conquest of the planet of the apes

conquestapes1

1972

Who’s in this?

Roddy McDowall as Caesar son of talking apes from the future who grows up in a wordl where apes don’t talk and are slaves. Roddy was a child actor who easily transitioned into acting as an adult. Was in tons of tv and movies in the 60’s and 70’s plus did a number of voices on cartoons in his later years. Was in four of the five apes films and the tv series.

Natalie Trundy as Lisa the chimp with eyes for Caesar. Trundy was a model as a teen and got into acting shortly after that. She married Apes produced Arthur Jacobs and ended up being in four of the five Apes films.

Don Murray as Breck the governor and tyrannical ruler over the apes. Murray had a promising career in the 50’s and still worked fairly regularly for decades after that. He is listed as being in a project this year which would be his first credit in eight years. Maybe best known for being in Bus Stop with Marilyn Monroe.

Hari Rhodes as MacDonald assistant to Breck, but he sympasizes with the apes. A regular in films and tv in the 60’s and 70’s, was working fairly steady until he died from a heart attack at 59 in early 1992.

Ricardo Montalban as Armando circus owner, friend of Caesar’s and he knows the apes talks so he tries to hide that fact. Born in Mexico he was in acting by his early 20’s and worked regularly for decades. Best know for Fantasy Island and being Khan in the Star Trek episodes Space Seed and Star Trek 2 the wrath of Khan.

conquest-planetoftheapes-img

What’s this about? So 20 years ago some talking apes went back into the past to avoid dying because the earth blew up in their time ka-blam the humans blew it up. When they went back all the 20th century fools said “whoa, talking monkeys”. Some nervous jittery high up guys with ties tied too tight decided to try and kill the talking apes to prevent the earth from blowing up. However the apes had a wee little baby monkey who survived, talked and was given to circus people and that’s how the previous film ended. Fast forward 20 years and the little ape is big, still talking and still hanging out with Armando of the circus. Cats and dogs were wiped out so monkeys were used as pets but later as they got bigger they became slave labor because human. The talking monkey soon to be Caesar is eventually bought by Breck at the monkey auction to serve the Governor. Meanwhile the Governor is convinced that the talking monkey baby from 20 years ago is still alive and has agents searching for him. Armando is questioned, but then falls out a window yeaaaaaaahh! Eventually Caesar has had enough and the apes are revolting…and they don’t smell too nice either. Oh, wait not that kind of  revolting but rather a full blown revolution with whatever weapons they have been collecting behind the backs of the humans. A big night time battle happens with the apes stomping all over the humans. Caesar declares the apes will rule and apes grunt in agreement while the city burns. Roll the credits.

The negatives-The only real negative I had was although Caesar’s motives and background fit in with him leading a revolution I am not sure about the other apes following him so quickly. He gives them a look and bam they go against the humans. Maybe the implication is they all had that desire but just needed a leader to give them a push. It just seemed to happen very fast.

The positives-They make good use of the location and it seems like a bigger budget film than it really was. The acting from the main characters are all strong. The first film is the best of the series, but this was probably McDowall’s best performance in the series.  This is easily the second best film of the original five film run.

Blood Sabbath

bloodsab_1

If this dollar store candle doesn’t give me evil power than surely taking my clothes off will.

Who’s in this?

Anthony Geary as David just out Vietnam and wondering around the woods. Geary bounced around doing mainly TV in the early 70’s before landing the role of Luke on General Hospital which is of course what he is most known for.

Susan Damante as Yyalah. Damante had a few roles here and there over the years including episodes of Dallas and Emergency.

Dianne Thorne as Alotta Queen of Witches. Thorne is most known for playing Nazi Ilsa in a series of movies in the 70’s. She worked pretty steadily in the 70’s then just a few roles in the 80’s and she seem to fade away but has a couple of credits listed for this year. She also had a small role in The piece of the action episode of Star Trek.

1972

Ten things I learned from this movie.

1-Hippies like to ride around and squirt beer in the faces of guys walking in the woods.

2-Don’t sleep near naked hippies or the woman will try to take your cash.

3-River nymphs do exists only they wear cheap blond wigs.

4-Old dudes with big sideburns frequently live in homemade shacks out in the woods.

5-Old dues with sideburns in homemad shacks seems to know a lot about witchcraft and wood nymphs.

6-In the early 70’s apparently witchcraft was frequently practiced out in any old woods nearby oh and caves too.

7-Naked woman in satanic rituals will only lead to no good for you if you are a dude.

8-Just because you are  a Vietnam Vet doesn’t mean you have any idea how to deal with naked black magic practicing woman.

9-Don’t sell your soul to the devil.

10-Just because a film has a cool title like Blood Sabbath doesn’t mean it will be any good.

The negatives-The story is a mess, pretty much the film is an excuse to show nudity. If you are expecting scares and such it doesn’t really happen. Although the film does try to be trippy in a low budget kind of way. The acting is lame too.

The positives-Taking on black magic is a little more original than a rubber monster or a slasher, but they don’t have enough to back those ideas up. It’s funny for a little while, but it gets old pretty quick.

BloodSab1

I am just walking along not looking for black magic or naked woman or anything like that.