Ten thoughts on Tremors 2: Aftershocks

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1996

1-They waited too long to crank this one out.

2-Longish hair makes Fred Ward look like Shemp from the three stooges.

3-Despite chewing through metal the Shriekers aren’t nearly as scary as the Graboids

4-I really missed Kevin Bacon’s character.

5-Chris Gartin’s character was very forgettable.

6-After seeing this film I can’t go past a stack of metal barrels without looking to see if they are moving.

7-They sure made good use of remote controlled cars

8-As always thank goodness Michael Gross was in this one.

9-I love the scene where they think they are going to hide in a building and it was just a front side of a building.

10-I so wish there was a Graboid arcade game like the one they had a cabinet for.

 

This film was supposed to be a fairly big budget affair filmed in Australia in 1993, Instead the budget was slashed greatly, no Australia, it was film in early 1994 but cam out as a direct to video release in 1996.

The first film was so great that the next film in the series would have trouble living up to expectations and that’s what happened here. The film tries and has some moments, but overall it’s fair at best. It does introduce the Shreikers and it was good to Fred Ward again. After this one Michael Gross (and his ancestor in the 4th film) would become the main focus.

 

 

10 reasons the martians came to Earth according to Mars Attacks!

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1996

This film is of course based on the 1960’s trading card set of the same name. The film has the plot and feel of an old B movie, but a then A list cast and good special effects. The movie is slim on plot yet full of action, humor and explosions. The stockpile of big names makes me think of the disaster films that Irwin Allen did in the 1970’s. It’s not up everyone’s alley and it took me a few viewings to really warm up to the movie. Here’s a list about it.

1-To set cows on fire.

2-To fry soldiers.

3-To kill off politicians.

4-To do weird experiments fusing human and animal body parts together.

5-To terrorize people with a giant robot.

6-To get punched in the head by Jim Brown.

7-To bowl over the statues on Easter Island

8-To have their picture taken in front of spectacular buildings (see number nine)

9-To blow up up spectacular buildings once they get their picture.

10-To have their heads explode courtesy of country music.

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Ten things I learned from The Munsters Scary little Christmas

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1996

 

So just over a year after “Here come the Munsters” came out there was another made for TV Munsters film with a totally different cast. This time they are taking on Christmas.

10-It’s the 90’s and the rest of the Munsters still think Marilyn is ugly.

9-Grandpa is from the old country but apparently that must mean New York because that’s how he talks.

8-If vampires can be real then I guess so can Santa.

7-Elves are really nasty dudes just waiting for a chance to goof off and cause trouble.

6-Even wolf boys get depressed.

5-Some bullies are brave enough to bully wolf boys who have a Frankenstein monster as a dad.

4-Making a Christmas display with heads being lopped off can be seen as art.

3-Some people still think the Munsters are always dressed for a costume party.

2-Santa always has a spare giant Santa suit handy in case someone like Herman wants to go along.

1-Only the nosy neighbor will freak out when it only snows on the Munsters yard.

 

There you go. A decent film for what it is. Don’t expect it to be like the classic show, but it has some laughs.

 

Christmas episodes-Lois and Clark-Twas the night before Mxymas

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What do you mean you think Clark Kent is cool and I’m not?

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Clock or no clock?

1996

Guests0-Howie Mandel as Mister Mxyzptlk (pronounced Miks-yez-pittle-ik)

This floating curly haired semi-urban pirate looking 90’s hipster shows up in Metropolis. He comes from the 5th dimension which much like Metropolis and Gotham City isn’t part of any real world that we know of. He does however know who Superman is. He then comes with the plot to get rid of Superman by taking away all hope because he thinks Supes is the sign of hope. To do this he comes with a masterful plan, okay actually I think he just watched Groundhog Day with Bill Murry for inspiration. So he makes a day repeat itself and only Clark Kent is aware of what’s going on. Mxyzpittlepoo, Mixypuddlecake, Moxyplasticup er Mr. M lets Clark know what’s going so he knows there is nothing he can do about. The deal is Supes has to leave this world or else Mr. M will let this hopeless world go on. So we get to see this day or parts of it play out over and over. The overriding theme is that everyone gets grumpier and cares less as the same day rolls around. Clark’s dad gets worried about losing the farm, Perry regrets not doing more with his kids, Jimmy’s new girlfriend starts dressing trashier, a guy keeps robbing the same bank every day and a recluse goes from falling off his balcony to jumping off with Supes catching him every time. Clark/Supes thinks the only way to correct this behavior is to give these people hope. He tries talking even reasoning with them and working to give people a purpose and hope. Eventually it succeeds and Mr.M gets mad. The final step is of course that they get magic guy to say his name backwards. Oh, the horror, the terror, the lack of imagination and poof he’s gone. The day has been saved, hooray for Christmas and roll the credits.

This was from the forth and final season of this show which was probably my least favorite overall, but this was a decent enough episode.

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Santa Perry

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How dare you say Lois has shorter hair than I do, oh wait she does.

Leprechaun 4: In space

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The princess and the creepy dude.

1996

Who’s in this?
Warwick Davis as of course the title character. He is best known well probably for these movies. He was also Wicket the Ewok in Return of the Jedi. He has also appeared as Professor Flitwick in the the Harry Potter movies.

Brent Jasmer as Books a space marine who mostly does his job and has eyes for Tina the doctor. He had a handful of tv and movie credits between the late 80’s and late 90’s.

Jessica Collins as Tina a doctor of biology assigned to help a group of space marines. She has been in a number of tv series of the last twenty plus years including having been in over 120 episodes of the Young and the restless over the last two years.

Tim Colceri as Sgt. Metalhead the leader of the space marines. Colceri has been in various movies and shows for 30 years. He is likely most known as the doorgunner from Full Metal Jacket.

Guy Siner as Doctor Mittenhand. A brilliant doctor who has contracter space marines to rescue a princess and bring her on board the ship. Oh and he’s really just a head and chest of a dude connected to a machine. Oh and also for some reason he talks like Colonel Klink from Hogan’s Heroes. Siner is perhaps most known for his stint on the British TV series ‘Allo ‘Allo! He has also done voices for several Star Wars video games and voiced Man Ray on SpongeBob SquarePants.

Debbe Dunning as Delores a space marine. Dunning is best known for having played Heidi the second tool time girl on Home Improvement in the 90’s.

What’s this about? You thought those wimps in that Aliens fiasco were tough? Ha! These space marines are off to rescue a princess. Or they think, she has been taken by the title creature yet the princess agrees to be with the little beast once he offers the glittery bimbo some of his gold. The marines show up and they blow up that mean nasty little Leprechaun and accidentally knock the princess out cold. Not before the little maniac goes all insane Jedi on a marine and slices him with a skinny light saber. One of the marines takes a wee-wee on the Leprechaun’s light saber once they think the title monster is dead. Then he gets what he thinks is a shock on his ding dong (sorry for such language). Believe it or not that part is important to the plot. So they grab the knocked out princess and all of the gold and head off on their spaceship which looks like a giant greenhouse only with no glass or plastic. That’s it roll the… ah you’re not getting off that easy. The science people such as there (notice I said science and not smart) examine the princess to answer such science type questions as why does she have glitter on her body and why does she dress like she fell out of a Flash Gordon comic? Anyways the marines celebrate a job well done. A bunch of them drink while the leadhead who drizzled on the light saber goes off with Delores (thinking of the Seinfeld episode where he couldn’t remember the girl’s name). Anyways they start pawing and patting at each other, a rise comes up in his pants and kapow the Leprechaun pops out of the crotch of his pants. See I told you that whizzing on the lightsaber event had something to do with later events. The beastie runs off while Delores can’t seem to hit him or the broad side of the barn. Well the Leprechaun does some more damage and in between talking to the camera he kills off another crew member. Sgt. Metalhead is a thick necked, loud talking grump with a metal plate for half his head (just like all Sargeants). Anyways he doesn’t want to lose any more people and the Leprechaun has said he will leave them be if they just give him the princess and they all want to do this. Doctor Mittenhand reveals himself, oh dear he’s half man and half washing machine- egads! Well he offers the marines a lot of loot to kill the Leprechaun and of course game on, man lets hunt the wee little fella. So you know the drill, well maybe not since this film has far more humor than the others so he kills them off one at a time in silly ways and tells wisecracks along the ways. Sgt. Metalhead gets turned a cross-dressing mindless boob, hey didn’t that happen in Starship Troopers? Maybe not. It comes down to just a few survivors fighting for their lives or they just prance around as set pieces for the jokes. They run into a Doctor Mittenhand/gross spider creature as the Leprechaun has turned him into a web shooting monstrosity- oh how rude. Then they battle a big Leprechaun (he’s not wee anymore). The hero gets his shirt ripped off and the heroine gets her pants ripped off because you know this is an equal opportunity kind of movie. The Leprechaun gets shot out the airlock like some sort of space debris and he goes boom shooting parts all over space. Of course his severed hand gives the remaining crew members the finger oh, how cute. Roll the credits.

The negatives? People seem to be split on this film. It’s very much a horror comedy and very heavy on the comedy which seems to turn off some horror fans. I think what bothered me was the humor was limited and they used a lot of the same jokes. By the last third of the film they seemed to be running out of ideas. The cast was okay, but there wasn’t anyone good enough to really stretch the humor.

The positives? Most people seem to either hate this film and get all huffy over it or they love it for it’s total in your face silliness. I am more in between those two, but lean towards liking it. There is no concealing that this was a comedy with horror elements even spoofing horror, sci-fi and even war films. For that they get points for the attempt. There are funny over the top moments and that’s where this film works. However the best parts are the first 2/3 of the film. They try to keep the craziness going and do to an extent but it kind of drifts towards the end. Hey, I’ve owned it for a year and a half and watched it maybe 4 times so I like it well enough. If you have no sense of humor or don’t like dumb humor you’ll hate this movie and are better off kissing a blarney stone. If you are in the mood for something ridiculous then give it a go. This was a straight to video movie with an obvious low budget, but I liked then instead of just mailing in another ho-hum bad horror sequel they tried to get a laugh out of it instead.

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Man, Yoda is even uglier than I remember.