Hellboy 2:The Golden Army



Come on Abe, it’s not like he’s going to power up an ancient robotic army of unstoppable power.
Our favorite red, cat lovin’, cigar smokin’, grumpy occult fightin’ demon type is back. So are his friends the fishy Abe Sapien and fire producing Liz plus their work supervisor the no so wonderful Manning. This time some pasty skinned, platinum haired siblings are in conflict over whether or not to revive an army of mechanical hooligans. The brother Nuada kills his pappy and plans to take over, but his sister Nuala runs off with the last piece of the crown-oh, man you knew it couldn’t be that easy. I guess I need to mention that these two freaks are leaked and can read each others thoughts to an extent and feel each others pain. Hellboy and the others run into a house full of these nasty little critters that kill the human agents, but our the super powered types live and wipe out the creatures-oh, yeah it pays to have powers. Somewhere around this time Hellboy and the others get a new boss type who looks like a walking, talking tea kettle. Hellboy fights this giant plant creature because … oh wait it’s a grumpy red demon fighting a huge plant monster so who really cares about plot at this point? Of course Hellboy wins this round. Our heroes also go to a market area where surprise, surprise Hellboy gets in another fight with a beastie looking fella. They also run into Princess Nuala who … A-takes up with Hellboy and his gang for help. B-causes Abe to fall in love with her. C-gives me the willies with her crazy eyes. Nuada works out swinging his weapons all over the place so let’s get this movie going so we can wrap it up. Hellboy gets a spear point lodged in his chest, but this weird as all get out being saves hep while telling Liz “you know he will eventually destroy the world and be no darn good for you”, but Liz doesn’t care because she loves him and is pregnant with his kid(s). Hellboy is saved as they are on fight Prince sourpuss. He gets the last piece needed to revive the golden army-oh poop. There’s a big ole CGI and the army is halted. The the prince and big red have it out. Good thing Hellboy has a big hand or he’d be done for, but he pulls this one. Hey, look out that naughty prince is playing dirty an oh no the princess killed herself to stop her brother. Sorry, about that one Abe. The sort of heroes leave, they tell Manning to kiss their get some other workers and walk off. Roll the credits.


A veggie is smashing up the city!


You can trust me, I’m not a power crazed wacko or anything.

The negatives-Hellboy comic purists are possibly going to dislike this one more than the first one because it’s takes some liberties with the personalities of the characters.

The positives-The film looks great and the plot is strong. I like that we get to know more about Liz and Abe this time around. In the comics Hellboy is a bit more reserved, but in the films he comes across as a combination of The Thing from the Fantastic Four and other Ron Pearlman himself. I find that this combination works for these movies. Shock of shocks I like this film better than the first one-stronger plot, better pacing and I felt more comfortable with the main characters. I actually liked the whole cast in this one. Luke Goss as the prince was a particular standout. I went in hating him, but then thought he was more misguided (or looney) than just being flat out evil. I think of this film as more of a fantasy movie than a typical superhero film, but whatever it’s entertaining and for my money it’s gotten better each time I’ve seen it.

I actually watch this film every year around Thanksgiving because I bought it on DVD for $2 at Wal-mart on Black Friday in 2009.


I’m the star, I don’t have to wear a shirt.


Just your run of the mill, weird looking on the run princess.