Dawn of the planet of the apes


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First of all who is this Dawn and what is she doing hanging around with these monkeys? Oh hold on it’s not a person but rather it’s refer to the start of something. Oh that makes a little more sense. Caesar the chimp who could speak left the city in the last film with followers and set up a community out in the woods a little ways from San Francisco. Meanwhile a virus broke out amongst the humans and wiped out a bunch of them. Thank goodness there were too many of those people hanging out eating fast food and watching their crappy reality shows oh wait I’m a people er..person. Back to the monkey movie. The rotten old humans want electricity to do important things like play video games and light up Christmas displays so they need to get this dam up and running. Unfortunately to get to it they have to follow the yellow brick road go through monkey land. They get permission from Caesar the leader, but other monkeys aren’t trusting of the humans. The likable humans Malcolm, Ellie and some of the others start to get along with the monkeys, but one jackass brought a gun when he was told not to so Caesar tells them to hurry their rear ends up and get the heck out. Koba hates the humans and when he learns they have guns he starts trouble. Which involves killings a couple of dopey humans, shooting Caesar and starting a war on the people in San Francisco-how about that for a bad apple or monkey? The enraged ape army starts beating the humans. Back in the woods Caesar didn’t die and Malcolm and the others find and mend him. Back in the city Koba is acting like a real not so nice kind of critter-forcing humans to obey, growling, killing apes that don’t agree with him and I’ll bet he smells real bad too. Caesar gets his followers back and confronts Koba so they fight. Meanwhile ape doubter Dreyfus (Gary Oldman) blows up this tower thinking it will hurt the apes and save the humans. Instead it kind of hurts everyone. The apes fight goes on -whack, smack ooahooahooh-and Caesar gets the upper hand. Koba needs help to not fall, but Caesar realizes Koba is just no darn good and let’s him die. Caesar tells Malcolm he’s a good egg or something, but Malcolm warns him that soldiers from the north are on their way and Caesar should leave so as to set up for another sequel. Roll those credits and hide your bananas.

The negatives-

Old fans will say-They used CGI instead of rubber masks, I’m outraged.

Young fans will say-Wait, they made Planet of the apes movies before Tim Burton’s crapfest?

Really old fans will say-It’s nap time, ain’t got no time picture shows!

Really young fans will say-Googoogaagaa

Nitpickers will say-Why isn’t everything absolutely correct by what we know because after all this a science fiction movie?

Oh guess those aren’t negatives, but it did fill up some space.

The positives-As a fan of the original series of films I say to the people that made this film I say “thank you”. You did the franchise justice, added a great new chapter and even topped the previous film which was solid. I read lots of gripes about science holes and such, but I say get over yourself this was a great movie.

Growing up with the Planet of the apes- a short history


Take your eyeballs off me you doggone dirty human!

Monkey Business week rolls on here at my blog.

My earliest memory of the Planet of the apes was not of any the movies, but rather the short lived tv series that ran in late 1974. I have just brief memories of monkeys and people running around. My dad wasn’t a big sci-fi fan so either my brother begged to see it or there wasn’t much else on at the time. Someone bought me a Planet of the apes play set around then that had plastic apes, Army soliders for some reason and some plastic trees with a connecting bridge. I am sure that I played with it until it fell apart. For years my only memories of Planet of the apes were that toy set and a few images of the show. In the early 80’s we had a channel that showed a lot sci-fi and horror films in the afternoons. Vincent Price movies and Ray Harryhausen films were common place as it seemed like Mysterious Island and Theater of blood were on almost every month. Then they showed what I thought were Planet of the apes movies. I liked them and they were about two dudes and their chimpanzee buddy running from the mean gorillas, kind of like the Dukes of Hazzard only with more hair and no cars. Wait, two guys? How could that be? Well what I didn’t know at the time was that in the early 80’s someone had the bright idea to reach back and grab those tv episodes from 1974 and put some together and call them movies for the sake of showing them on tv. It would actually be another ten years until I saw a real made for the theater Planet of the apes movie. Flash forward to Halloween 1992 I was a freshman at college and it was Friday night. All my friends went drinking and I  just wasn’t into it. So sci-fi nerd that I was and still am I went to the films the college was showing for Halloween which was a double bill of Fantastic Voyage which I had seen many times and the 1968 Planet of the apes which I had yet to see. I was thrilled by Planet of the apes as I watched it in awe, if I wasn’t an Apes fan before I was now. It would be another six years until I saw the other four films. AMC showed them over and over for a few weeks and I watched and taped them. My interest in the Apes was even stronger after that. Since that point I have bought all of the movies on DVD plus the show, the cartoon (one day to be reviewed here) and the two other films one of which stunk like stink has never stank before (thanks, Tim Burton) and the 2011 film which was pretty good. There you go.

Hope to review Conquest of the Planet of the Apes on Thursday to keep Monkey Business week going.


Humans suck!


Raise your arm if you’re sure.

The mighty Peking man AKA: Goliathon



Who is in this?

Evelyne Kraft as Ah Wei a jungle girl who used to be a little civilized girl but then…oh I’ll just tack the rest of the story down below. Krast was born in Russia and had around twenty some credits. She died from heart failure at 57 back in 2009. This is probably her most known role.

Danny Lee as Johnnie Fang adventurer, leading dude, fighter guy and wearer of a shag hair do. Lee has over 100 films credits between the early 70’s and 2010 with most of them being action films.

Most of the rest cast is a bunch of dubbed guys playing various shady, greedy types.

What’s this about?

Well, these civilized guys travel to this jungle and nab this huge ape like creature who happens to like this blond woman. Oh and the civilized guys yank the big ape back to the city to make money from showing it off. The ape escapes and all heck breaks loose until the big beastie gets killed. The end. Wait, that plot sounds familiar. Where do I know it from? Gone with the wind? No. The French Connection? No. Gilligan’s Island? No, they just regular size apes. Oh, I know that King Kong film. Not the one made by that Lord of the Rings guy or the 70’s one made by Dino De Lawhatsis, but the classic 30’s film. Although The might Peking man is no classic. Although in all fairness and has some things different from King Kong.

-It’s made in China.

-The blond who loves the giant beastie was kind of raised by him after her parents died in a jungle plane crash.

-uh and uh there’s more romance between Ah Wei and Johnny than between other couples in these kind of films.

-the above couple dance around with a leopard (I think that’s what it was) in some kind of we’re in love in the jungle type montage.

-it was made by  Shaw Brothers who mostly did martial arts films.

-the ape suit is mangy, oh that’s not different for this type of film oh but it does on fire

peking man

What are you looking at?

The negatives-The pace starts off great and finishes well enough, but around 3/4 of the way through it sits around more than it needs to. The budget is low indeed but to me that’s part of the charm in this case.

The positives-It’s colorful, mostly fun and there is some great scenery. It’s a likable enough cheesefest and giant monster films might get into it as well. I watched it twice just for this review and I expect to be in my viewing future in the next few weeks as well. So check it out if you get a chance.

peking mant

He’s a big one.