Wild wild west villains by the numbers

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1-Two out of every three villains uses knock out gas.

2-Three out of every five villains wants to rule either the world or at least the United States.

3-One out of every three women who begins working for a villain will turn on them when their plan starts to fall apart.

4-Two out of every five villains knows how use poison to knock someone out, but not kill them.

5-Three out of every five villains has a hidden passage and or stairway.

6-Four out of every six villains can see through disguises used by Artemis Gordon.

7-Five out of eight villains carry a concealed small knife or gun.

8-One out every four fights is the number that henchman win over James West, but the win is never the final fight of the show.

9- Ten out of ten villains think their evil plans will work.

10-Zero out of ten villains have their plans work out in the end.

Ten cool things that are green

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In no real order..

1-The incredible Hulk

2-The Grinch( the animated one of course)

3-The Green Arrow (not that teeny Arrow from the current show, but the real 70-80’s comic book Green Arrow)

4-The Teenage mutant ninja turtles (with the exception of that crappy movie from last year)

5-Frank N. Stine from the Monster Squad TV show (most of the other Frankenstein monsters I like were in black and white)

6-Frogger

7-The Green Hornet (every version except that horrible film with Seth Rogen)

8-Those aliens from the Toy story movies

9-Orion slave women

10-Godzilla

There you go. Feel free to add any green things that you like in the comments.

 

Ten things I learned from King Kong Escapes

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1967

1-Evil Japanese scientists don’t sound likeĀ  they are from Japan.

2-A mechanical Kong is very cool until it gets stuck.

3-King Kong looks like he could use some conditioner to smooth his hair down.

4-Dinosaurs can do standing drop kicks on a giant ape.

5-Giant sea serpents tend to look like a garden hose with a head.

6-Multiple helicopters all seem to fly in the same pattern.

7-Toy tanks are so cute.. I mean so dangerous.

8-Mechanical Kong makes quite a racket when he falls off a tower and smashes to bits on the ground.

9-The only Amercian dude in Japan stands out like a sore thumb.

10-King Kong can rip apart a ship like it was a cheap prop.

I first saw this one maybe two years ago and I like it more than most people. Despite the budget limitations and the corniness it’s still a lot of fun. There are plenty of monsters, fights, military vehicles and running around to keep one’s interest. I wished that they’d made a third King Kong film back then. I also wish that MechaKong had popped back up to challenge Godzilla or even better a MechaKong-MechaGodzilla team-up against Kong and Godzilla would have been very big fun indeed.

 

Ten things I learned from Sharknado 2: The second one

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1-When a Sharknado happens once people aren’t surprised that it would happen again.

2-People in an airplane can be attacked by flying CGI sharks-even Will Wheaton.

3-Losing your hand to a shark doesn’t seem to hurt as bad as you may think.

4-Mets fans aren’t that surprised by a shark filled tornado coming into the stadium or maybe they were just glad for the game to end early.

5-Jared from Subway frequently sits in the Subway station eating a sandwich from Subway.

6-You can get bit on the butt if you turn your back on a subway shark.

7-Many people who battle sharknadoes seem to have had scary plastic surgery on their faces.

8-Cutting a giant shark with a massive chainsaw looks a lot easier than you think it would.

9-Newspeople are less shocked than anyone else by storms filled with sharks and they are more prepared to fight them.

10-Billy Ray Cyrus is as bad at playing a doctor as he was at trying to be a singer.

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The negatives-If you saw the first one or you looked at the title of this film before starting it then you know what you are in for. This one doesn’t even try to explain what’s going on very well because if you are watching it then you have accepted it’s craziness. There are lots of cameos and about as many bad ones as there are good ones. Billy Ray Cyrus, Jared from Subway, Downtown Julie Brown? Don’t care. The GCI might actually be worse this time around or it may be that they are just trying more unbelievable acts with the storms and sharks. Even though she misses most of the movie due to having her hand bit off Tara Reid still manages to suck the life out of every scene she’s in and Mark McGrath isn’t much better.

The positives-If you wanted sharks and tornadoes then you get plenty of them. The pace is steady so boredom shouldn’t be a problem unless you count being bored by too many storms and sharks. Will Wheaton is in this film for a minute or too before being killed by a shark-whether you like him alive or dead is up to you but I was glad to see him here. How in theĀ  world did Judd Hirsch get pulled into this? A real actor in a film like this? He must have been hard up, but he shines as of course a New York taxi driver. Kurt Angle isn’t bad in his cameo as a fire chief. As bad as Tara Reid is in boths, I actually think that Ian Ziering is surprisingly alright. Probably because he excepts the role for it’s total insanity and stupidity and just goes with the flow.

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In the end it wasn’t as fun as the first one. It was much more self aware and having everyone in on the joke from the beginning doesn’t work as well (for me) as trying to act like this ridiculous story is real as the first one did to a greater extent. If you liked the first one at all then give this one a shot. The third one has been announced so you have been warned.

My must see Christmas movie list

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The Christmas movies I try to take in every year.

10-Elf

9-Scrooge (review coming soon)

8-Die Hard

7-Jingle all the way

6-Gremlins

5-Christmas Story

4-Miracle on 34th street (if you have to ask which version then shame on you)

3-The Muppet’s Christmas Carol

2-National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

1-Christmas Carol (1951 version)

 

*Feel free to add what films you watch every year.

 

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Top five space suits in movies

As with space ships and laser guns the space suit is a true thing of beauty if done right in a sci-fi film. Some times it’s the same old white or great NASA type suit. However there are a few standouts. Here are my top five.

 

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5-Star Trek-First Contact (1996)

When I thought Trek space suits I first thought of Kirk and Spock in the STTMP, but the more I looked at this suits the worse they looked. However these suits from First Contact had a slightly differently shaped helmet from most, a streamlined suit and they looked good in a fight.

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4-Red Planet (2000)

This movie has some problems, but the space suits were not one of them. They are armored on the chest, flexible on the joints and the colors are awesome. I for one love a blue space suit over the usual choices of white or grey.

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3-Planeta Bur (Planet of storms) (1962)

This Russian film was edited several times for American versions with different titles. Still those grey suits with the huge bubble helmet and great looking chest plate are way cool.

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2-2001: A space odyssey (1968)

This is a bit of an iconic look and granted the suit is helped by great sets and lots of lighting. However the face plate, the bright orange suit and that yellow chest plate/pack make this one one to remember.

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1-Prometheus (2012)

Like Red Planet the film itself has real problems, but visually it’s stunning. The space suits in particular are wonderful. The huge bubble helmets, the semi-armored suits and just the whole overall look should make anyone want to wear it. I wouldn’t want to go where they went, but I’d love to strap on one of those space suits.

 

There you go.

How to know you are dealing with a space vampire

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This list is based on the movies and films that I am way behind in reviewing this week.

1-People you knew now have rotted chests.

2-Healthy people die with round marks on their faces.

3-The guy who was just there got turned into a dried out husk of a human.

4-You watched a video where an invisible intruder throttles a dude.

5-Fellow crewmembers attack you for no reason.

6-A guy with a big uni-brow pops up out of nowhere.

7-Three different people look at one woman and they all see her as a different person.

8-A doctor says these dead people aren’t really dead.

9-People you once know start stealing parts of your spaceship so that you cannot leave the planet.

10-These “people” walk around naked and bullets don’t phase them.

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I am doubling up Thursday with two reviews coming at you so stop by.

10 reasons why Halloween is the best holiday

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1-Monsters are always in style in my world, but for Halloween they are like honored guests.
2-Halloween specials on TV like Peanuts although you likely already own it and can watch it anytime.
3-Pumpkin flavored everything.
4-Bargain horror films at Wal-mart and other stores.
5-Haunted houses are in fashion.
6-Looking for ghosts is not only alright but actually cool to do.
7-It’s a reason to hang up crap like rubber bats and spiders.
8-You can dress up in costume and at least most people won’t think you are a nut.
9-Horror movies everywhere. Although it’s not like I need a holiday to motivate me to watch them, but still it’s a plus.
10-Candy corn!

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Top five favorite guys to have played Hercules in the movies

Steve Reeves as Hercules E-Mail

1-Steve Reeves-Reeves had the look and the right presence to carry off playing the mighty Hercules son of Zeus. It’s a shame he didn’t have more monsters to fight.

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2-Nigel Green-Okay I may get fussed at for picking a non-bodybuilder who played the role for only a small portion of one film. However I thought that this British character actor was wonderful playing a slightly older Herc in Jason and the Argonauts.

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3-Reg Park-

He was a huge Hercules. I like he played it a bit laid back almost lazy at times before eventually taking action.

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4-Lou Ferrigno-Big Lou played Herc in two bad movies. However he sure looked the part. Even though he wasn’t given the greatest villains he certainly managed to look impressive while flexing his muscles.

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5-Peter Lupus-Far more known for his time on Mission Impossible than for playing Herc. I don’t approve of the smooth face look, but still had a solid approach to the role. Plus he looked convincing when he started flexing his back muscles.

Dream monster fights

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Plenty of monsters have taken on other monsters over the years. With Godzilla being back in action more monster match ups may be on the horizon. So I wanted to throw out a few that have not happened.

5-Mechagodzilla vs. MechaKong- MechaKong might need some updated weapons for this to be much of a battler, but having robotic versions of two famous monsters might be cool.

4-King Kong vs. Mothra-Kong took on Big G and Mothra has battled most other known monsters so this may be a good one.

3-Godzilla vs Gargantua- This one was proposed back in the late 1970’s, but the Zilla franchise had dried up by then so it never happened.

2-How about a monster tag teams match? Perhaps Kong and Big G have a temporary truce to take on a more evil pair maybe the their Mechacounterparts or maybe Ghidorah and jungle dinosaur form a menacing team and Kong and Big G have to team up to stop them.

1-Godzilla vs. Gamera- A true clash of titans that has yet to happen, but really should. Godzilla might have fought more enemies and has the popularity, but Gamera has been more consistent in his moods and has won a higher percentage of his fights perhaps.

***Feel free to add any other ideas you may have in the comments.