Monster Fighting 101-King Kong

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Here are some tips on dealing with this giant gorilla.

1-Avoid the island. No trip to the island=No Kong=No troubles.

Maybe that’s too easy and logical.

If you have to go to the island and get this dude then think about these.

1-Knock out gas may yeah knock him out for a while but he will get back up.

2-Chains won’t last forever on this full-size fuzzball.  So if he’s chained up keep your distance because more than likely he’ll snap them like twigs.

3-If you like a blonde that Kong had eyes then get out of town or else Kong will try to nab her and take up a big building.

4-If you have to fly a helicopter at Kong then dude know the length of arm and stay your distance. You don’t want to get wadded up like a candy wrapper.

5-If Kong is at the top of a building then for goodness sake don’t be standing down below him on the street. Sure enough that big hairball is going to come tumbling down.


There you go. Feel free to add your own.

Monster Fighting 101: The Creature from the Black Lagoon


So it you run into this big old fishy guy here are some tips.

1-Distance as in keeps yours from his. He’s a strong dude and can rip flesh with those claws.
2-He’s a fish dude so don’t think you can out swim him. If you go in the water after him (for some ungodly reason) you better have a weapon and a helper or two. He’s is in his natural element there.
3-He can be on land and can be strong for a while, but only for limited periods. So use that to your advantage if you run into him on land. Keep your distance and try to observe if he’s gasping or not for being out of the water too long. If he is it may be time to strike if you have a good weapon and/or some help.
4-Knock out powder that some crazy old sea captain uses to konk out fish apparently works on the creature if you use large amounts. So pick up a big canister of fish zonker or whatever the next time you are Trader Joes or whatever store you go to.
5-Being alone when the creature is around is a big no-no. Travel in groups and be prepared to shove the other person in front of you and say “take them first” when the creature comes.
6-If a woman in a soaked evening dress is laying on the beach it’s not a gift from the heavens. So don’t go checking on her close because the creature will pop up and either toss you nose first into a tree or just crush your skull like a peanut shell.
7-A gun with a good range and a strong flashlight or something even brighter seem to work best for bringing this dude down if he’s out in the water.
8-Oh and don’t change him into an air breather because he really hates that.

There you go, hope those helped.


Monster fighting 101: Frankenstein’s monster

Okay the first thing to know is this-


Frankenstein refers to a man-frequently a scientist who put together a monster and brought it to life.

Frankenstein’s monster refers to the creation or yeah “monster” and that’s who I am talking about fighting in this post. So let’s get at it.

First this one is difficult because there have been different types of monsters/creation by people named Frankenstein. Many of the early ones had less direction and were slower, but others were more like humans with different minds so I’ll try to cover as many as I can below.


1-Fire tends to scare the monster at least at first. You just have to be in control of the fire of course because a raging inferno isn’t going to be good for anyone involved.

2-Speed is an advantage you likely have over the monster. So that helps in fleeing,  and for fighting you can likely reach weapons to use against the monster quickly.

3-Intelligence helps here as in anything. Frequently these monsters are slow mentally and gullible. So you may be able to lure them into a trap. Provided you have some intelligence and are able to keep calm in the face of the monster.

4-Keep the monster’s durability in mind. They are frequently made of dead parts of people. So these beasties can be tough to kill since they have died once and came back. So guns and knives will only cause minimal damage. To fight them with a weapon you will need something that will really make an impact and from a distance such as flame throwers or maybe rigging something like a falling pulley or other swinging object may have enough force to do some damage.

5-The monsters frequently seem fond of little kids and woman so using them as bait may work too (sorry about that woman and little kids).

6-The monster always seems to be created at a castle or a large isolated house. So if there are reports of a monster on the loose it’s probably staying at the local castle or large old house. So if you are bold enough to go after it go there. If you have not other alternative you could always blow up the castle if you are sure the monster is in it.

There you go, hope that helps. Feel free to add other tips in the comment section.


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Monster fighting 101-The mummy


Unlike monsters like vampires and werewolves the tools and methods for combating mummies seem to be less defined here. That means when a mummy pops up it’s anyone’s guess how to combat them to an extent. Unless you have an archaeologist nearby then they’ll rant on with a history flashback before giving you not so great advice on how to fight a mummy. However I will try to throw out some possible trends and possible solutions for you.

Purpose-A mummy is a supposedly dead and often long dead person usually but not always wrapped in bandages. Frequently of Egyptian heritage and some times they are royalty, but not always. So these people were buried frequently in tombs and meant to stay buried. Then they pop back up usually many years later. Why? Well the top reason is some power hungry person wants to use the mummy for their or their people’s purposes so they revive them normally resulting in lots of deaths. Some times mummies are disturbed by accident usually by archaeologists or tomb robbers. Usually both of those groups face bandaged death.

How to stop a mummy-

How to stop them in the long run may depend on the purpose of the mummy. If it’s some lunk head worshipper with foul intentions you may be able to force them to stop the mummy. Although that’s unlikely because they are crazy enough to bring someone back to life in the first place. You could kill the person controlling the mummy, but that doesn’t always stop the mummy. So stopping a person controlling the mummy may help, but you might have to go further to stop the bandaged terror.

Another popular reason for a mummy to prowl lands years after being entombed is to be re-united with his/her long lost love. If the love interest is up and walking around too then you may have to play matchmaker to two undeads.

On occasion the mummy may be walking around looking for a possession such as a medallion, coin or some physical artifact. Once they get it they may go back to rest.



Tanna leaves-The leaves of a mythical plant that when brewed in a tea or mixture can help give a mummy life and give the brewer of said concoction some power over the mummy. However this is normally done with reading from a scroll and done by someone who knows what they are doing. Destroying a supply of tanna leaves may relieve a nutbar follower of his control over the mummy.

Fire-This may be more a tool of  desperation rather than logic as often desperate people use this to ward or attempt to ward off the mummy. This may just be people who saw a Frankenstein film and assumed that all slow monsters were scared of fire.

Medallions, coins or artifacts-Some times these may have power over the mummy or as mentioned above taking these items might just cause the mummy to come after you. So using these against a mummy may be a real risk if you don’t totally know what you are doing. You may be able to command them or holding on to these and waving them about may be saying “nanana come and get me, you big Band-Aid”.

Swamps-Most but not all mummies tend to have a lack of direction, eyesight and mobility. So luring them into a deep swamp may put an end to them if they sink down into it. However being undead a bunch of mud may just cover them for a while until the resurface and start lumbering about again. And of course you need a nearby swamp to even attempt this solution.

Building/tomb collapses-This may be risky because you can die in this one even easier than the mummy.  Despite their strength a good tomb collapsing on the mummy’s head should stop him.

Speed-This one seems to be in many cases an advantage that you or I may have over a mummy. They may be far stronger than us but they usually can’t run worth a darn. Although running won’t be a long term solution it will get you free for the time being.

Common sense-This as in all monster fighting cases may be your best weapon. Digging in ancient tombs is risky, holding onto cursed artifacts is even worse. If people start dying in funny ways after a dig or removal of items then you may want to put that crap back. If a mummy is roaming around in the states or England and an Egyptian person is nearby, not to be prejudiced or anything but it’s quite likely they have a hand in it or at least know what’s going on.

There you go, hope that helps a little should you ever have dealings with a mummy. Remember if Abbott and Costello survived dealing with a mummy then you can too.