No, don’t make me do this film!
Look into the eyes of evil…at least until they cut to another scene…any second now.
You may have seen this one get a royal shredding on MST3000 years ago.
You may know two people in this film. One is Reb Brown
(Yor:The hunter from the future, the made for TV Captain America films, Uncommon Valor and various other roles). Here he plays the hero of sorts. Jon Phillip Law (the bad guy here) you may know from Danger Diabolik (an absolute all time favorite of mine), The Golden Voyage of Sinbad, Barbarella and other films.
You will quickly spot the ships and battle sequences as they borrowed/stole/ripped/something these parts from Battlestar Gallactica. Battlestar was ten years old at the time yet those “borrowed” scenes look way better than anything else in the film. Eventually there is a half-hearted mutiny attempt by the greasy villain and a handful of likely underpaid extras show up to fight on both sides. There is a leader with a phony beard, some weird skinny dancing woman, golf carts fitted as futuristic travel and weapons plus 80% of this ship looks like a sewage plant with all the pipes everywhere. Oh and one of their main forms of entertainment involves dancing while wiggling a hula hoop over one’s body, the future looks bleak indeed. A member of the bridge crew gets killed and then appears back at her post like nothing was wrong, methinks the editor of this film wasn’t giving 100% on this film. Anyways the bad guy tries to look evil in an old cartoon sort of way, the good guy flexes his muscles and looks bored and the main female smiles a lot and doesn’t do a whole lot else. Eventually there are lasers flying about, some explosions and the film sort of ends or they just gave up, I’m not really sure which.
The film suffers all the way around to be honest. The biggest problems seem to be the poor script and the lack of budget. Yeah those two will kill your film every time if you decide to make a film with very little budget and a sloppy script. The badness of the entire film make it worth seeing at least once. Although I’d say the MST3000 version is funnier and easier to take.
Yes, Santa this is where I want you to build my new hair salon.