Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

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This is a story about a courageous female newsperson whose father was in on creating these powerful turtles, she discovers a metallic coated evil dude, she tries to convince her silly co-workers about what is going on but they go on being stupid and….then she. Wait, a turtles movie is supposed to be about the Turtles you know like the title says. However in this version April seems to take priority. Eventually we see the lumpy looking turtles and they do some fighting in between April’s parts. Shredder looks he was built by a bored hardware store employee, but he gives his evil portrayal-wahaha or something. There’s a meany pants scientist in this too and he has some lame brilliant plan that can’t possibly fail-okay of course it fails. The personalities of the turtles are developed more and more as the film progresses…just kidding this is the April show so the turtles just whiz bang in for some brief action here and there. There are some explosions, some fights, some lame jokes and eventually the film ends. Good Lord roll the credits.

The negatives- Megan Fox is on screen way too much and she is awful like make me cringe kind of awful. She seems to think that moving her lips a lot counts as acting-it doesn’t. I knew they changed the turtles origin story and that’s okay, but tying April into it via her dad doesn’t work for me. The Turtles started out okay, but they never really develop their personalities that much. Raphael and Leonardo in particular are left as shadows of the characters we have come to know. The plot and the villains felt poorly planned out. The action was okay, but not enough to make up for the other many shortcomings.

The positives-I thought I’d hate the look of the turtles going into the film, but overall I was okay with it.

As much as I was hoping to find something about this one to like it just had far too many problems. I usually love the turtles in the comics, the cartoons and the previous films. The writers of this one didn’t respect the turtles enough to develop their characters, make them the stars or give them a good story to work around. When you take characters who have been around for awhile you at least to try and understand what it is about those characters that fans have liked for decades and that sure didn’t happen for this film.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles-Parasitica



I’m taking on an episode of the newer cartoons series from Nickelodeon because…

1-It’s good to take a look at what the turtles have been up to in recent years.

2-I just saw this episode the other day when the kids were watching it so it’s fresh in my mind.

No one listens to Mikey because in this version he has stupid ideas. In a fight with a giant wasp he inadvertently causes Leo to get stung. Without it’s stinger the wasp dies. They find an egg they believe to have come from the wasp and Leo insists they take it back to the HQ. Really Leo has been infected and is being controlled by the weird insect egg. He begins to change. Raph notices the change, but doesn’t have time to get help. He gets bit by Leo and changes. The next morning Donnie and Mikey see the other tow have changed and try to get the doors closed to trap them in so they can have time to think up a plan. Donnie comes up with a formula for an antidote but is bitten by Leo before he can finish. He tells Mikey to finish it and inject all of them. Mikey agrees and knocks out Donnie once he turns, but not before Donnie bites Mikey. Donnie changes and goes to Raph and Leo. They ask about Mikey and Donnie says he bit him so he will be there soon and he is. He seems to have turned, but it’s a fake and he injects them with the antidote. They go normal and Mikey explains how he managed to finish the antidote and says it may cause drowsiness. So all but Mikey fall over and of course the egg hatches to release three giant wasps. Mikey holds them off until the others awaken and they take down the insect invaders. Mikey brags and gets hammered by Leo for using his favorite comic as toilet paper. Roll the animated credits.

The negatives-While I generally like this cartoon I don’t like that they make Mikey too dumb, that’s not really needed.

The positives-This is definitely a break from them fighting the usual suspects. I like that it comes down to  Donnie and Mikey to fend off their stronger brothers and solve the problem. There is also a  Star Trek influenced cartoon that Leo likes but the others make fun of. The segment in this episode is hilarious.