TV terror Thursday-The Saint

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Laurence Payne (Vampire Circus, The Tell tale heart and the Crawling eye) as Noel Bastian a local guy and author. His wife and others think he is fooling around with Ann.

Suzanne Farmer (Dracula-Prince of darkness, Die monster die!) as Ann Clanraith a young who works helping Noel Bastian with his book. Her dad and Noel’s wife thinks she fooling around with Noel

Caroline Blakiston (Scoop, Return of the Jedi) as Eleanor Bastian wife of Noel. She think the above, but she also believes in the Loch Ness Monster and hopes to prove it exists.


The Saint Simon Templar shows up in the Loch Ness area in Scotland just in time to find a dead dog and some huge footprints of perhaps a monster?  Some people think there is  a monster and some don’t. There is no shortage of other drama either as all of the above about suspected fooling around is going on as well. Local scruffy neck Willie insists the monster exists. Then he shows up buying drinks with big bills that no one has ever seen him have. Simon questions him and Willie sets up to meet with him that night and tell him something. Simon gets Ann to go with him but they find Willie dead so no new information for them-denied. So the monster talk heats up. Believer and former big game hunter Eleanor sets up a monster watch and with herself, her husband, local dude Angus (who likes Ann) and Simon taking shifts. Eleanor takes the first shift. Around this time Simon stumbles upon an underground tunnel that leads to a cave near the water. In the cave are oxygen tanks, a boat, a bloody spiked club and big thing used for making monster footprints. Uh, oh someone has been playing monster. Simon gets out and back to let Noel know that he is late in relieving Elanor on the monster watch. So Noel runs out to relieve his wife and she fusses at first but give him some coffee. Fog rolls in and Noel looks to be slumped over at his watch. A boat comes a shore and a trenchcoat wearing person gets out carrying that big spiked club. They walk up on the slumped Noel and swing the club and strike one-he dodges the club. Of course it’s not Noel it’s Simon who has been in wait for the killer. They struggle and the killer is indeed old man Smithers and he would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for those meddling kids-oh wait no it’s actually Eleanor. She hated her husband and set up this monster business to kill him plus she killed the dog and Willie. Before Simon and Noel can grab her she races back to the boat and goes back out into the fog of Loch Ness. The others call for her to come back, but bubble come up in the water, she screams and they later find her dead body believing the monster got her. Roll those credits.


The negatives-The monster is a little silly for the Saint although being the bright dude he is he knew all along that something was up.

The positives-Glad to see monster movie veterans like Farmer and Payne in this one. While the monster idea seems slightly out of place for the Saint I always welcome monsters. The mystery part of the episode was played well enough. Overall an entertaining episode.


Upcoming junk and stuff


I’m switching up TV terror Thursday and will be doing the Saint instead of Green Acres. Which means next week will be Green Acres and Remington Steele. First fright Friday tomorrow will see Lady Frankenstein. Sleepy Hollow Sunday will be a double dose with the Tim Burton film and the Disney version. Next Friday of course is Halloween and I had planned on doing one last First Fright Friday. I may still do that or perhaps I’ll review a few Halloween cartoon specials instead. My kids are gearing up for the holiday events. My wife is getting some finishing touches on their costumes-Ninja and monkey.

Take care!

TV terror Tuesday-Night Court

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Halloween, too


Harry is planning his annual Halloween party which includes costumes, games and lots of decorations. Christine is excited about it because she doesn’t know any better. Bull tries to make a jack o’lantern by punching. Dan is told by Harry that he needs to were a costume to the party this year or he will lose his great parking spot. So everything is shaping up for the party then Harry runs into Kim and boom preparations for the holiday turns into a bunch of mush. Harry and Kim fall in love fast and do a bunch of silly junk together while making everyone else sick -bleccccccchhhhh. Then Kim is arrested and comes before Harry in court because she’s a witch.  Which? No, witch. This is her lifestyle, her passion, her uh role for this show. A sleezoid reporter is roaming the building and everyone is afraid he will write something about Harry and Kim the witch that will affect Harry’s job. So they try to dodge the reporter. Harry tries to sway Kim from being a witch blah, blah, blah. She can’t give up being a witch so they go their own ways. At the end we finally get to Harry’s party. Harry is sad because he and witchypoo had to part ways, but now we get to see everyone in costume which provides some of the biggest laughs of the episode. Roll those 1980’s TV credits.


The negatives-The main storyline with Kim is really average at best. Only the nasty reporter chasing them adds much to it.

The positives-It’s early third season and this is the season where I think the show was coming into it’s own.  The chemistry between the characters was really starting to come together at this point. The Halloween costumes, decorations and the glimpses of Harry’s love for the holiday are all worth seeing.

Craft time-Monster duct tape wallets

I did this program at my work yesterday and I did it a few years ago to. You have to make a simple duct tape wallet first. Here is a link to Wikihow for how to make that. Once you have the wallet you move on to the exciting part of this project the monster.

For the monster flat sheets of duct tape work best. Wal-Mart, Michaels and AC Moore all carry these. Measure for approximate size of the monster you want. Flip the duct tape sheet over. Draw your monster on the paper side, pen works best. Cut out your monster, peel off the paper backing and stick it on the wallet. For the city have a black duct tape sheet handy. Measure the length of you wallet and cut strip that length by three blocks high (the blocks are pre-marked on the paper side. Using the paper side to guide you cut down and up to make the outlines of the city building. Then peel of the backing and put it on the bottom of the wallet over the bottom of the monster to make it look like it is terrorizing the city. Use sharpie markers to make details on the monsters.

I did the red one years ago and the green one last week.



I did this rainbow bird monster at the program yesterday. I discovered that my gold sharpie makes some good lights on the buildings.


There you go.

First fright Friday-Werewolf in a girl’s dormitory



Well, how was I to know we’d all be wearing the same outfit?


Aieeee your hands are cold!


I can’t act so I’ll just stare at you.


Why didn’t get a perfect hair helmet?


Ten things about this movie.

1-By girl’s dormitory they mean correctional facility for 30 years olds posing as 20 year olds.
2-Everyone uses fifteen words to say something that would take five words.
3-Security is real light at this place as everyone seems to sneak out at night.
4-All the men except the scuzzy guy wear bad hair pieces.
5-This film has more red herrings than a fish packing place or so I assume as I’ve never been to a fish packing place.
6-With all the killings going a lot of people still continue to run alone in the woods at night.
7-The werewolf must be kind of weak or neat because he doesn’t rip out of his suit.
8-They sure fill up the little graveyard in this film.
9-They should have left that werewolf in the shadows because it’s about as lame as it gets.
10-For a film with a werewolf, blackmail, science experiments and multiple murders this one sure was dull.

Upcoming junk and stuff


Still planning on doing a First Fright Friday with likely Werewolf in a girl’s dormitory tomorrow. Beyond that Sunday will see another Sleepy Hollow Sunday with possibly the Tim Burton Sleepy Hollow film. For next week TV terror Tuesday and Thursday will be Green Acres and Night Court. Then another First Fright Friday next week and hopefully I’ll get around to see doing Lady Frankenstein for that.

TV terror Thursday-Get Smart

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Weekend Vampire


Max is playing chess with another agent. When Max goes to get coffee a shadow appears, a tune plays and the other agent falls over with two marks on his neck. Turns out he is the third agent to get killed in this way. Professor Sontag examines the dead agent and begins to say something, but then clams up. The media thinks it’s a vampire, but the chief thinks it has to be something else. Max and 99 overhear Sontag talking to a fella named Drago. Apparently Drago had worked for their organization at one point, but got the boot for doing nasty experiments. Max and 99 pose as honeymooners (not not Ralph Cramden) and go off to Drago’s place to see what’s going on. The pretend their car broke down and go to Drago to stay for the night. He puts on the unfriendly mad scientist act but agrees to let them stay. He also has a huge, mute assistant named Hugo and a hidden lab that you enter through a coffin. Other then that every is uh yeah far from normal. The agents get locked in their but use secret agent type expanding rice and explosive toothpaste to blow the door open. Good thing they didn’t put that junk on their teeth. It turns out that their suspicions were right and Drago has been killing these agents. They were the ones who testified against him to get him kicked out so he wanted revenge-don’t they all? He invented this flute with two holes that plays a tune and shoots out ice darts. So they caused the holes, but then melted and left people thinking it was a vampire. It all makes perfect sense…well in the world of a 1960’s sitcom maybe it does maybe not. Anyways Sontag shows up to save Max and 99. Drago and Hugo are stopped and the case has been figured out. During the de-briefing Max almost kills the chief with the dart flute so things are back to normal.

The negatives- Not so much unless you are like my wife and hate this show for some reason.

The positives-However if you are like me or my son then you know that this is classic great Get Smart. The guests are good and the horror aspects are a welcome addition even if there wasn’t a real vampire.



Classic monsters in the 1970’s

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Classic monsters like Dracula, Frankenstein and the Wolfman dominated horror in the 30’s and a large part of the 40’s. Maybe WW2 scared people more than those monsters as their popularity faded around the end of the war. The  1950’s saw invaders from other planets as well as plenty of giant beasties. However by the end of the decade Hammer films decided to revive the classic monsters and Dracula, Frankenstein, the mummy and others lived again. This new found interest in old creatures kept on through the 1960’s. However films like Rosemary’s Baby and the Night of the living dead popped up at the end of the decade and they showed audiences scarier things than dusty vampires and creaky mummies. By the early 1970’s Hammer was trying to keep their monsters going, but tried different takes on some of them like bringing Dracula into modern times, making a Frankenstein comedy and having a mummy’s curse film with a beautiful woman instead of a bandaged sack of dry flesh. However films the Exorcist and the Texas chainsaw massacre were outdoing the gothic tales of Hammer and by the middle of the decade the studio that dripped blood was almost done. In Spain Paul Naschy was starring in films with mostly werewolves and some vampires. He stayed busy for a long time and actually the 70’s was a very good time for this sort of film in Spain as far as amount of films they made. These films had their audiences but they certainly didn’t their genre as they usually went by the same old very basic formula that we have seen over and over. Vampires have always been the monster that seems to show up in the most films and despite the decrease in classic monster films overall in the 70’s the blood suckers still did alright. Maybe the middle of the decade didn’t see too many films, but 1979 saw a relative explosion of vampire films with remakes of Dracula and Nosferatu plus Salem’s Lot , the spoof Love at first bite and on TV the short lived show Cliffhangers had the Curse of Dracula series. The phantom of the opera saw a 70’s glam rock revival in the all too overlooked Phantom of the paradise. On the small screen it seemed variety shows all had to have a Halloween episode normally with someone dressing as a square headed Frankenstein monster or somewhere in traditional Dracula outfit complete with cape and a bad Bela Lugosi impersonation. For me the most memorable small screen classic monster show of the 1970’s was the one season show The monster squad. Made by some of the same people that did the 60’s Batman show this had an even stronger camp element to it and featured wax figures of Dracula, Frankenstein and the Wolfman that could come to life to fight would be master criminals including a mummy, a skeleton, a witch and more. As far as classic monsters go I think it was split between movies and shows that tried new takes on the character and ones that either spoofed the classic version or just did the same old thing. As someone who grew up in this decade and developed a love for classic monsters in this decade I was glad to see enough attempts at keeping the characters going or re-inventing them.