Ah, the trilogy or oh no the trilogy depending on the specific example. I will be reviewing the third Turtles film soon, but it had me thinking of other trilogies. Recently I’ve watched the Turtles Trilogy, Robocop trilogy, the Porky’s trilogy and the Smokey and the bandit trilogy. Yet I am still alive to write this. Anyways some times you get the rare trilogy like the episodes 4-6 of Star Wars or Lord of the rings where the parts are kind of mapped out and there is a plan in place. Most series run on the let’s wait and see if this films sells and if it does we’ll crank out another. That last part makes sense to studios I’m sure. In many cases we see the original directors replaced or actors or actresses replaced because they have other projects going on at the time of the sequel. It’s difficult to capture the spirit of the original film with a lot of different people involved and frequently we the viewer get something that represents the series in name only. Hence the bad reputation that sequels in general get. There are good sequels, but they are normally outweighed by mindless ones unfortunately. Still fans of a beloved first film will go see another film particularly if enough original people are involved with the project. Plus it’s so great to say trilogy.
The Turtles back, they still love pizza but they seem a bit sillier overall. April is back too, hey wait they slipped in the old “same character, but a different actress trick” in on us. For shame. Oh and Shredder is back too, hey didn’t he die in the first one? Oh well if Spock can come back then so can Shredder. They added a cute little Asian kid because we know well that went in the second Indiana Jones movies. Okay on to the plot once we find it. Oh here it is-Shredder and his foot guys kidnap a scientist (David Warner) and forces him to use this ooze to mutate a snapping turtle and a wolf doggie thing into giant versions that strong but have no brains you know like pro-wrestlers. That’s the plot? Hey at least we get to see the timeless music legend Vanilla Ice perform during a turtles fight, wait that’s not really a bonus. Eventually after numerous jokes the turtles beat Shredder again, but not before he gets real big (thanks to Kevin Nash AKA: Diesel/Big Daddy Cool). Roll the credits.
Negatives-The first April was better. No Casey Jones. The plot and action have been watered down this time around. While I liked how the turtles looked I felt the film just went rather than flowed. The charactizations added little that wasn’t done in the first film.
Positives-Some of the humor is funny. The first fight scene is cool and the humor is memorable.
A rather average outing for the Turtles and a bit of a letdown from the first film.
I mentioned this show before, but it looks like it has surprisingly gotten a DVD release. Might have to break down and order it.
So apparently in New York there are these martial art proficient masked turtles who are instructed by a rat. No wait, I’m serious or at least in a Hollywood adaption of a comic book kind of way. Okay back to this movie. People are having things stolen..in the big city..can you believe that? Oh, yeah so can I, but wait this is apparently being done by a bunch young people who have been organized by a ninja guy named Shredder who wears well stuff that looks like it would shred you. The police don’t want anyone to know much of an anything, but a reporter named April goes nosing around. Eventually she befriends those turtles. The shreddie guy and his feet er and the Foot take the rat Splinter to lure the turtles in. Meanwhile the turtles eat pizza, team up with a hockey goalie mask wearing guy named Casey Jones and they try to figure out what to do next. Eventually they throw out more jokes and sillines plus manage to save Splinter, straighten out a bunch of teens who were on the wrong track and apparently defeated the shred dude/thingie/person/guy. All is well until the next film so order pizza and roll the credits.
Negatives-This is geared toward kids to an extent, but not as much as the cartoon of the same time was.
Positives-I think is a fairly strong comic book adaption that has held up well over the years. The personalities of the main characters is decent, the action is adequate and the pace is strong. The back story is simple and things move along fairly quickly. There are some great one liners and I never get tired of the Dominoes delivery scene.
1-I first got into their comics in the 80’s followed by the cartoons and the movies.
2-The only one of the original trilogy films I saw in the theater is my least favorite of the three (that will be revealed when I do the reviews this week).
3-My son is a huge fan of the turtles as well.
4-I like the 2007 film more than most people seem to.
5-Despite their appearance I am optimistic about the upcoming film, but will probably wait to see it on DVD.
6-In general I like most of the re-incarnations of them in cartoons over the years.
7-I have pretty much never eaten pizza in the last twenty some years without thinking of the turtles.
8-The turtles are on my travel mug.
9-The original cartoon’s theme is one of my favorite cartoon themes of all time.
10-For what it’s worth my favorite turtle has always been….
1-So KISS have super powers that rely on cheap animation and simple special effects.
2-Paul Stanley talks like he is reading off of cue cards. Oh, wait I think he was.
3-Ace Frehley appears to have a cartoon character voice for this film.
4-Don’t be a smarty pants gang member or you may get turned into a robot.
5-Changing the lyrics of Hotter than Hell to Rip and destroy will get you booed.
6-A human can be controlled by having a little circuit jabbed into their neck.
7-KISS like to sit poolside in full make-up during the day time.
8-Robot duplicates of KISS change into shabby looking stuntmen during fight scenes.
9-If KISS beat your robots then you turn into an old dude.
10-Gene Simmons was more laid back then apparently because he didn’t sue the robots for using his likeness, but instead just destroyed them.
After watching Cannonball Run for the first time in years I was wishing someone would make a space/superhero version of the same concept. It would have a minimal plot and rely mostly on nostalgia of course. So there would be some great space race from point A to point B and all kinds of genre people would be tossed in as characters that were mostly plays on a role they were famous for. Here are some of my ideas that I am sure would make anyone with taste roll their eyes at.
William Shatner and Patrick Stewart play retired commanders who decide to join forces for the race, but bicker over who is the Captain and who is the crew.
Angela Cartwright and Billy Mumy play siblings who constantly get lost during the race.
Alan Tudyk, Harrison Ford and George Takei play rival pilots trying to one up each other with crazy maneuvers.
Adam West and Burt Ward play two former co-workers who once had the coolest ship around and they decide to bring it out for the race. Since it’s forty years older and so are they their chances of winning aren’t good.
Lynda Carter plays a warrior who decides to get an edge with an invisible ship. While the ship is invisible she can be seen flying through space in a sitting down position.
Katee Sackhoff and Dirk Benedict play a father-daughter team who constantly argue over the new ways of flying vs. the way it used to be done.
Sigourney Weaver is a confident pilot with a steady ship, but she keeps hearing noises and seeing shadows of something in her ship.
I see Ron Pearlman as a crazed intergalactic cop trying to stop everyone.
Somehow Bruce Campbell, Erin Grey and Sam Jones would have to worked into the film as well. Campbell might be good as a grizzled miner living alone on a planet and when racers stop to ask him for directions he points them in the wrong way.
So there are my ideas for a truly pointless film that I would love to see. Feel free to add any other racers you would like to see in this film that will never happen.
Reasons I have not written much this week.
1-Busy at work
2-I ordered the Laurel and Hardy essential collection and it arrived. Add to that getting Cannonball Run for $4 at Wal-mart and the All-Star game earlier this week and I have not been watching many horror or sci-fi films.
Since I have not done much on amusement work I will aim to do that next week for sure. I’ll aim to have some kind of shorts post out over the next two days so there’s something fair for you to take a gander out.
So hang in there as more will be coming soon.