Buck Rogers-Space Vampire

1980

Buck and Wilma stop at this space base that looks like was built from Legos. They are to drop off Twiki for repairs and then go off on a trip. Hey, wouldn’t you know it a spacecraft comes crashing into the base -kerplooie! Everyone is dead, but not dead according to the doctor of the space base although maybe he’s a doctor and maybe he’s not. Anyways something  fishy is going on. Tapes by the ship captain say someone was killing their crew off one at a time, but they couldn’t see anyone because you know invisible killers are the cheapest kind to create. A red dot appears and a cat chases it, oh wait all that is true except for the cat part. So this red dot floats around and stalks Wilma and she feels all icky, but doesn’t know why. The doctor is attacked by and turned into the dead/not dead crewmembers. That’s what you get for giving out crap information! Wilma is attacked by the worst looking space vampire ever as he looks kind of like Nosferatu if a eight year with their eyes closed did the designing. Buck shows up to scare off the vampire, but the beastie vanishes right before the space station commander gets there to see Buck pointing a gun at Wilma. So Buck gets put in jail-take that, Mr. I’m from the cool past. The vampire comes after Wilma and drains her force/power/whatever with his fingernails-really, trim those things! She is now semi-vamp like and goes into the cell to get Buck. He wards here off with this vampire repellent thing which looks more something you scrape your foot with. So time is running out-let’s get this over with. The vampire gets Wilma and Buck and the space station commander see him and give chase. Vampire and Wilma leave in Bucks ship. Oh, no that’s terrible oh wait quick thinking and paranoid Buck put a thing on device to prevent someone else from leaving through the stargate. The vampire tries to get through and it shocked (not as shocked as I was by his uni-brow) and poof he’s gone. The people who were not dead are not really not dead and actually alive again. All is well so roll the credits.

The negatives-Logic is tossed out the window on this one as it in most episodes of this show.

The positives-Although not  a well thought out episode it does try to offer some suspense and action. Chistopher Stone (The Howling and tons of shows) plays the space station commander and he was a decent enough actor.

Goosebumps-One day at horrorland

1997

 

So the Morris family are on a vacation and lost in the crumby car with no A/C. Whoa bummer, dude. So they somehow end up in this parking lot out in nowhere at a theme park called horrorland. Hold on there, hoss you are telling me they stumble upon a theme park out in the woods and don’t question it? Oh, well it’s gets better. The worker at the park appear to be dressed as monsters. The Morris family decide to kill some time and go to the park. So scatterbrain Luke and sour Lizzy go  to such attractions as the lose your sibling mirror room and lets go down the river in  a closed coffin water ride. I think they had more proper names though. Along the way they see kids who don’t seem happy. The parents drink some nasty drinks run into other families who don’t act happy. So they try to track down their kids. They do and hope to leave, but get offered a chance to go on a game show with a shot of winning a car. So they forget about their kids almost getting killed, the frantic other parents, the fact that these are real monsters and decide to do the game show so they can try to win a car with A/C. The game puts the parents against the kids so the Morris family forget all about everything else and try to win a car in front of any audience of monsters. The kids get worms tossed on them, but it’s all okay because the parents want that car. They eventually get into a wheel of fortune type game and when as mom solves it as being “The Morris family is lunch”. Yeah, they win, they win..wait “is lunch” ? Yikes the monsters mean to eat them! So the family runs away into the woods trying to escape. They see their car through the fence, but can’t get through. They search and find a hole in the fence, but the monsters are right on their heels. They slip through, get to the car and eventually drive off. The end…oh no wait the monsters stuck a remote control thingie on it so they make it go where they want. The monsters send the car to the edge of a cliff where he hangs so maybe they live or maybe they don’t and boom the episode ends that way. Oh, man now you have to use your imagination to decide what happened. Roll the credits.

The negatives-I think I saw this when it was first on liked it, but the special effects have not aged so well in a mere 17 years.

The positives-I like the story and it worked well to do it as a two parter. The monsters look good and the humor goes over well enough. I particularly like the monster commercials they show in between the game show. This was one of my favorite episodes of this show.

A sad note is while looking up information about this episode I learned that Kirsten Bishop who played Mrs. Morris died this past spring from the lung cancer from the way to young age of 50. She was also in Visiting Hours, They came from within and had a number of other credits over an acting career that went almost 40 years.

Charlie’s Angels-Unidentified Flying Angels

1977

The plot-
So this rich woman disappears or actually she is roughly escorted from the room after seeing a UFO. Such beastly behavior. The angels are called upon to investigate this place which is run by a flim flam man (Wild Wild West’s Ross Martin) and an ex-astronaut who wears the worst blond wig/hair helmet this side of a Star Trek alien. Apparently they charge people a bunch of bread in exchange for the chance of maybe spotting a UFO. Oh, boy! Bosley (David Doyle) and Kris (Cheryl Ladd) pretend to be a couple (of what I am not sure) who want to see a UFO or rather Kris does so her sugar daddy gives in. Meanwhile Sabrina (Kate Jackson) plays a cheap PI looking for a missing person (although not the one she is really looking for) at the UFO/rich guy place. The third angel Kelley (Jaclyn Smith) hits up the bewigged ex-astronaut in hopes of finding out information. So the girls and Bosley play their roles trying to figure out what is going on. They go through different outfits, fool the baddies, stroll through 70’s style rooms and eventually Sabrina finds the UFO is a fake. There is also an airplane, a water running car (yeah, right) and uh a desert. This UFO business is all a sham, the evildoers are outed, the saucer revealed and the case solved. The girls talk to their boss Charlie over a little black box while they grin a lot and our show is over.

The UFO-
The saucer looks relatively detailed and is a typical saucer shape. It’s grey and makes a whooshing sound. When it is revealed as a fake it’s a metallic looking thing around a meter in length. It’s on a rod and it goes up and down while being controlled by remote control and the controls are a big desk like thing. So a fairly elaborate set-up and it’s kept outside behind a stone wall a ways from the house.

I just saw this one for the first time last week. It’s a decent enough episode that shows how people can want to see a UFO and I’m sure that happened in the 70’s. Ross Martin is good as the crook. Kate Jackson is always a delight when she gets to play a tacky person as her cover as she does here. The UFO actually looks very good, like a Hollywood style prop which of course it is. Once you see the model it’s hard to believe that’s the same huge thing that duped a room full of adults.

Sleepy Hollow-Don’t lose your head over the new show

Two hundred years and that’s the best beard you could grow?

I work until 9 on Monday nights and had to stop for milk after work yes I know dullsville get on with it. After that I got home in time to see the second half of the new show Sleepy Hollow. You know the one everyone has bee growling and grumbling about before it came out and they watch it so they can go online and growl and grumble some more. Well hey I mean Ichabod Crane pops up in 2013 in his old duds and then poof so does old dead no head and they start causing trouble all over. Oh,dear oh, dear we have two two hundred plus year old dudes and only one with a head running around town. Plus the headless horseman might be part of the horseman of apocalypse too. Woweee that’s some excitement for a little town. I was entertained and wished I had seen the first half. Yes, I know a headless horseman shouldn’t be shooting guns but hey get over it or change the channel. Come on people you’ll accept a weekly zombie apocalypse or bunches of super heroes but not a headless horseman toting a gun? It’s called fantasy and requires some imagination and yes you may to stretch your mind a little bit to accept it or don’t and move on. I’m reading comments from people that act like this Is Baby Bob or something. Do I think the show will be a hit? Nope or least for long. Will I try to watch until it gets canned? You bet. I’m a horror fan and will certainly give it a chance. I like the dark look of the show, the legends and was glad to see John Cho and Orlando Jones in the supporting cast.

So will headless horseman only terrorize this tiny town?

Is headless really in the league with the devil or some ancient evil?

How do you kill a headless guy?

Will Ichabod be called Icky for short?

Tune in and find out.

 

If I had a head I’d tell you to eat lead!