Who’s in this?
Well, the main reason I wanted to see this film was because it stars I am a big Creature from the black lagoon fan and this one has the male star of the first film Richard Denning and the female star of the second Creature film-Lori Nelson. Mike Connors (listed as Touch Connors) is in here too over a decade before becoming a household name as Mannix.
What’s this about? So this film says it begins with the end oh so a minute in and lets roll the cred…oh, wait there’s more to this film (or so they say). When you were a kid did you ever go visit relatives and for whatever reason you had to sit for what seemed liked forever listening to adults talk about something you had no interest in? Yeah, well this film has a lot of that sitting around and blabbering on so take a seat sonny and missy and prepare for not much. So a nuclear war takes place and a few people survive. Eventually they end up at this one isolated house hosted by a guy named Jim who has not only been planning for the end of the world but seems excited about it because he is a ruler now with his gun and his key to the pantry. Yacka Yacka as people drone on, they fear radioactive rain and have to eat less. Then we get some soap opera stuff if your eyes are still open. An old guy geezer and his mule take a drink of some sour stuff and everyone else sits around growling. One guy in the house sneaks out at times, but he’s starting to change as his face looks bumpy like he stuck his chin in a beehive. The main guy Jim refers to the greaser Tony as “I know his kind, spawned in bilge water”. The middle aged woman gets drunk and starts dancing while telling of her glory days-ho,hum. Jim fell asleep which means he must have been watching what I was watching. A couple of the group go wandering off look for the bumpy chin guy who ends up changing even more before getting killed and his look is actually called “atomic skin” here. No, really they said that. Anyways the movie crawls on, the old scruffy guy goes after where he thinks gold is. Then we get rain, one of the woman Louise takes a swim while something in the shadows watches her. Later she is sleeping and feels the need to get up and stroll out into a woods where she meets a bumpy beastie and she promptly fates. Way to handle the situation. Rick goes after Louise because there isn’t anything else to do. Tony the bad old slickster gets a gun from Jim. Meanwhile outside Rick goes after the monster who up close has three eyes and looks like a rotten turd with plastic spikes on it’s head. The rain comes, the monster flees yet the pain lingers as the film goes on. Eventually the creature starts smoking and falls over. Louise feels sorry for the dead monster and I feel sorry for myself for having to watch this whole thing. Tony plans to kill Rick and Louise as they approach the house. Jim shoots Tony to stop him and apparently once a nuclear war happens bullets don’t cause holes or blood as Tony just falls over with no apparent damage from what should have been three point blank shots. Jim tells Louise and Rick there is a future for them and then he dies-lucky dog. Roll the credits.
The negatives- It’s like they had 12 minutes of ideas and they stretched it into 82 minutes. Slow doesn’t begin to describe the painful pace this film went through. Even the monster doesn’t help a lot because they don’t use it very much. Maybe it was made of such cheap material that they were afraid it would fall apart if it was in a fake fight.
The positives-The only reason to see this film might be for the cast. Quite honestly everyone tries fairly hard with the parts they have. With a lesser cast (and no Black Lagoon alumni) I would have turned this off around the 25 minute mark.
I had high hopes for this, but it was tough to make it through the whole thing.